


the gentleness that comes

by Likelightinglass



Series: The gentleness that comes [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Aftercare, Dirty Talk, Does not contain impact play, Does not contain painplay, Dom Harry Potter, Dom/sub, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, HP Cross Gen Fest 2020, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Light BDSM, Love, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Praise Kink, Scars, Smut, Sub Severus Snape, Sweet, Teacher/Student Roleplay, Versatiles have more fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:22:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25173073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Likelightinglass/pseuds/Likelightinglass
Summary: There's something bothering Severus, and Harry wants to help. It's easier for Severus to let go when he's exploring his submissive side, so Harry plans a weekend to show him just how loved he is, and how much Harry wants to care for him.Based on the prompt: Harry has a thing for scars, and Severus has a need for reassurance. They just happen to be what the other requires.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Series: The gentleness that comes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2062971
Comments: 32
Kudos: 342
Collections: HP Cross Gen Fest 2020, Harry Potter Concluidas





	the gentleness that comes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MaesMora](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaesMora/gifts).



> Thank you times a million to everyone who read this early and who helped beta, encourage me, let me complain to them, and just been all around awesome. Names currently redacted for anonymity but you know who you are and I cherish you all <3  
> MaesMora, thank you for the amazing prompt, I hope you enjoy how I chose to fill it!

_We have not touched the stars,  
nor are we forgiven, which brings us back  
to the hero’s shoulders and the gentleness that comes,  
not from the absence of violence, but despite  
the abundance of it.  
Richard Siken, Crush_

Something like a storm was brewing in Harry Potter’s life, but he was at a loss on just quite how to navigate it.

From the outside, his life looked quite peaceful, enviable even. He had family and friends that he visited and spoke with regularly. He had work he enjoyed doing, though he had a large enough fortune he didn't really need to do more than manage his various charities. He had moved into a big, beautiful house months ago and was nearly done with the decorating and furnishing. There were no more dark lords threatening to kill him, the corrupt Ministry officials had been weeded out, and there were even a variety of laws being drafted to encourage better Muggle and wizarding relations. 

No, the storm in Harry Potter's life had nothing to do with his finances, or his government, or his social circle. It had to do with his lover, Severus Snape, who had recently accepted his invitation to live together a few weeks prior. 

Severus had a very complementary routine to Harry's and did his share of the housework with only the occasional snarky comment. He wiped his boots on the mat before coming into the house, he never left wet towels on the floor, and he always had tea ready when Harry woke up. He was an exemplary houseguest, but that was just what he was acting like-- a guest. 

Harry could see the brewing storm in little things, the downward turn of lips in response to particular comments he would make before they smoothed out into a neutral expression of vague discomfort. A second too long of hesitation before a kiss was returned. A cautiousness to his lover’s actions that he thought had been settled out of him months ago.

Harry wasn't sure just what to think about Severus. He thought they'd got past all the _everything_ around their relationship when they'd first started seeing each other. 

All things considered, it really shouldn’t have happened as naturally as it did, their getting along. It had started with quiet nights by Severus’ bedside during the long recovery at St. Mungo's Hospital from his near death by snakebite. Harry would read to him, then talk to him, ask questions and then have to imagine how he would answer as days turned to weeks, and time and time again Severus slipped close to death and then pulled back, as if called away from eternal rest by some unseen force. Harry watched, and he waited. He had pored over the memories Snape had left him, tried to make sense of them. Tried to reconcile the thought of the nasty professor he hated (who had surely hated him) with the lonely boy in that awful house, the young man promising _anything_ on a windy hilltop. The man who gave everything he had, and almost his life, for the memory of his only friend, and then for a cause. Who had saved Harry's life and protected him time and time again.

When he reflected on it later, that quiet time of waiting and thinking and one-sided conversations, he thought he’d had quite a bit of a head start on the unexpected direction their relationship took after the war. While Severus slept and healed, Harry thought, and argued, and defended and grew and grew in respect and admiration for the man so much that when he finally opened his eyes, hoarsely said, _Potter?_ , and the Healer’s had confirmed his feet were once more firmly planted in the land of the living -- well, it didn’t take much for all those _feelings_ to tip over into something more. 

How else could it possibly have gone? No one else had ever died for Harry Potter, _and then come back_.

It hadn’t been instantaneous of course. It had taken a long time for Severus to be well enough to do much of anything besides glare and scowl and rasp out biting remarks. But once they started talking, they wound their way through the difficult subjects and realized they were more alike than they were different. They fell out of lingering hostility rather quickly, and then became something like friends. In Severus, Harry found someone both unexpected and yet constant; the knowledge that there was another side to the story, another man behind the curtain, had forced him to recontextualize everything he thought he’d known about him. He found someone exceedingly clever, and darkly funny, a real person where he’d only seen a caricature of one before. 

He found out later it was much the same for Severus, that the boy who had left the Forbidden Forest the day of the final battle was not the same boy who had walked in. Or maybe he was, and Severus had just never cared to notice the best of him before. But in the years of burgeoning friendship Severus had told Harry he found in him a quiet maturity, a deep sense of loyalty, and eventually a warm glow of love and affection that he suspected Severus found impossible to resist.

Now, after having danced around their affection for each other for years - a declaration from Harry, shocked acceptance from Severus, months of serious dating and a few weeks of living together -- there appeared to be yet another hurdle to break through.

Harry believed Severus cared for him a great deal, and quite probably loved him. He’d said it, too, though quietly, and only either in response to Harry or at a time when he didn’t think Harry could hear him. Though they kissed, and cuddled, and made love, there was sometimes a sense of detachment to it, as if Severus was eternally living in those few confused moments of waking up after a dream, the bleariness of trying to piece together not only where you were, but why. He looked at Harry sometimes like he was a very difficult potion and he wasn’t entirely certain what to add next, or what the next reaction was likely to be.

Harry was under no misconception that the life he’d chosen was going to be an easy one, that the lover he’d chosen would be the type to slip into a scene of domesticity without a fight, without effort and work. Severus Snape was a great deal of things, but an easy man to be with was certainly not one of them. 

Harry didn’t consider their interactions lately to be _dishonest_ , precisely, more like...inauthentic. Like there were parts of each other they didn’t know yet, or didn’t want to show. But Harry loved Severus, and he wanted to know _all_ of him. More importantly, he wanted Severus to know how much Harry wanted to know him, and how much he was loved.

He'd considered unhappily that perhaps Severus did not feel the same way about Harry. That maybe he'd felt bullied into a relationship and didn't see any kind of exit strategy.

Though Harry reckoned that if Severus had genuinely been unhappy in their relationship and wanted to end things, he wouldn't have accepted the offer of moving in together. He'd seemed honestly shocked when Harry had asked, despite having helped him with most of the decisions about purchasing the home in the first place and how to furnish it. Harry had always intended for it to be _their_ home but didn't want to announce that so early in their relationship. And even though Severus did technically live there, he'd barely brought more than the bare necessities with him, most of his things were still at the house in Spinner's End. 

They’d got this far together, and if Severus still doubted him, had any lingering uncertainty that they were meant to be, that they belonged together...well, Harry was going to need to address that sooner rather than later. For better or for worse, it was time to get all of the cards on the table. If Severus wanted out, he was free to leave. But Harry suspected that Severus wanted to be with him, enjoyed their lives together and wanted to keep it, but that something was holding him back from truly connecting.

He considered how such a thing could be handled, and how the necessary conversations might even be approached. He thought about his lover and was saddened by the knowledge that he knew Severus did not see himself how Harry saw him. He often had to be reminded to eat frequently enough, drink water, even shower--Severus seemed to treat his own body with disinterest at best, a quiet loathing at worst. He covered himself from head to toe even in the weeks they’d been living in the same house, high collars to hide the vicious wounds from Nagini’s bite, despite Harry’s frequent insistence that such a thing wasn’t necessary, especially with him. Harry suspected that Severus might feel insecure in their relationship because he did not believe that Harry truly cherished him. Harry had known the feeling of being lonely and unloved enough that he knew what it meant to believe that was all he deserved. Was it possible that Severus might believe he wasn't cherished not because he thought so poorly of Harry, but because he didn’t believe himself to be a thing worth cherishing?

Something like that couldn’t possibly be cured in a day, but Harry refused to let their relationship continue the way it was without addressing Severus’ needs and concerns. They had the coming weekend completely free of work and obligations, and it was the perfect opportunity to spend some quality time together as a couple, to really talk and enjoy each other's company. And Harry's goal was to make Severus feel like he was the most important person in Harry’s world and that he deserved every bit of his love and adoration.

Harry huffed a brief laugh to himself. How could he possibly manage to get Severus to learn to relax and enjoy himself and let go long enough to have what would likely be a painfully vulnerable conversation? He didn’t know if Severus could do it if he was _ordered_ to.

 _Huh_. Well there was a thought. They had explored some aspects of dominance and submission in their sex life before, and he knew Severus was interested in the general concept, and had enjoyed playing the submissive role on the few occasions they'd tried it. It had been easier for Severus to get out of his own head and let go on those occasions. Perhaps asking if he'd like to spend the weekend exploring that more would give Harry the opportunity to take care of him, to show his love and respect for him both in the bedroom and otherwise, and maybe he would feel comfortable enough to open up more.

The spark of thought ignited in Harry’s mind and the ideas started flowing. He grabbed a parchment and quill and started listing out possibilities, making a plan for the weekend. After nearly an hour of scribbling and crossing out and arguing with himself, he had a tentative schedule. If Severus agreed to it, by the end of the weekend he intended his lover to have no doubt in his mind of exactly how Harry felt about him, and how much he wanted the relationship to work and to last. 

**Friday Evening**

_You’re the sweetest thing darling,  
That I ever did see,  
Really like your peaches  
Wanna shake your tree.  
\--Steve Miller Band, The Joker_

"Hey, love," Harry said, greeting Severus at the door with a quick hug and kiss. "Welcome home."

The way Severus leaned in to the embrace, a slight smile lighting on his face, filled Harry's heart with warmth. He pulled away all too quickly, before clearing his throat and asking, "Are we starting right away?"

Harry had brought up the idea of a weekend together exploring more of Severus' desire for submission a couple of days ago, and to his surprise Severus had readily agreed. He'd had an odd expression on his face when Harry had brought it up, and he thought at first Severus might refuse it out of hand. But when Harry said that it would mean a lot to him to be able to focus on Severus all weekend, and that they were in need of some time connecting as a couple, Severus had been all for it. They'd discussed a couple of ideas they wanted to try already, a few definite "no's" and agreed to begin as soon as they were together on Friday evening.

"Well, you can finish walking through the door first," Harry said with a chuckle. "Are you excited, pet?" he asked with a teasing whisper, stroking along Severus' jawline and savoring the way his lover's eyes fell closed at the term of address. 

"Yes," he said, his tone rife with anticipation. 

"Good," Harry said. "I'm excited too, I get you all to myself for the whole weekend. You're such a lovely present and I can't wait to see what a good boy you can be for me."

Severus shuddered, but before they could get too caught up in anything, Harry led him to the sofa in the parlor.

"Let's go over the rules," Harry said, and Severus hummed in assent. Harry continued, "This is the longest period of time we've tried to maintain this dynamic, so let's both try to be flexible. You'll address me as sir. Your number one rule is to be honest with me about how you feel, and answer me honestly when I ask you a question. You will also tell me if you're uncomfortable at any time or want to stop. Do you want to keep using the color system, or did you think of specific safe words you want to use?"

"The color system is fine," Severus said. "Sir," he added after a moment. 

"Good boy. What are your colors?"

"Green if I want to proceed. Yellow to slow down or talk. Red to stop."

"Excellent. I expect you to do your best to obey me, but this weekend is all about you, Severus. You're giving the power to me to make decisions for you, but you can stop anything at any time. Thank you for trusting me." He took Severus' hand in his and held it in both of his, stroking the skin gently. "I love you, and I want you to let go as much as you can this weekend and just let yourself feel that. Do you think you can do that for me?"

Severus did not seem to expect that question at all. After a few moments of silent hesitation, he answered. "Yes, sir. I'll try my best, sir."

Harry pulled him into a long, lingering kiss. When they pulled apart for air, Harry smiled, pressed a quick kiss to his forehead and stood up. "All right, pet. I'm going to get dinner sorted. Go upstairs, take a nice, warm shower and wash your hair. There's new soap and shampoo and conditioner for you to use. Wash up and get changed into the clothes I've left on the bed for you. Wear only those and then come down from dinner. You have thirty minutes or so until it's ready so take your time scrubbing up."

"Yes, sir," Severus replied, and left to follow his orders. 

Right on time, as Harry was putting the finishing touches on their meal, he heard Severus approach. 

“Well, hello there, gorgeous,” Harry said as Severus entered the room. He took in the sight with a bright smile. “Thank you for wearing what I left out for you. How do you feel?”

“Exposed,” Severus muttered, pulling the tie of the robe tighter around his waist. “Sir,” he added, slightly disrespectfully, but Harry let the tone slide. Severus was wearing light gray soft cotton trousers that ended at the knee, exposing the dark hair on his legs, his bony ankles and long feet. He was also wearing a loose silk dressing gown, a rich emerald green that looked positively vibrant against his pale skin. The sleeves ended mid forearm, so Harry could see most of the scar the Dark Mark had left behind when it burned off permanently with Voldemort’s death. The collar of the robe was wide and loose, showing the full extent of the mass of thick, ropy scars over the side of his neck from Nagini. Harry was very proud of him, as Severus hated leaving both the mark and the scars so uncovered, and though Harry had seen them before of course, even seen him fully naked several times, feeling exposed was not something Severus enjoyed.

He pulled Severus close, nuzzling gently against the scars at his throat. “Beautiful.” He darted his tongue out for a few quick laps over the ridges of scar tissue until he could feel the growl low in Severus’ throat vibrate against his lips. “Do you need the pain salve tonight?”

“No, I’m fine today.” 

Harry pulled back and quirked an eyebrow. 

“Honestly,” Severus said firmly. “It hasn’t bothered me today. And before you ask, yes, I took my regular potions this morning.”

“Good boy,” Harry said, rewarding him with a quick kiss. He sat him down in the chair at the table, running his fingers along the edge of the robe's collar, dipping down to the vee that fell open on his chest. He spent a few moments like that, draped over Severus’ back, his face pressed against his hair, still damp from the shower. He moved his hands over the dusting of black chest hair, patting through the wiry hairs with lazy interest until Severus cleared his throat expectantly. 

“I was told to come down for dinner. Or are you too _distracted_ , sir?”

“Oh, I definitely am distracted. But! I promised you dinner and dinner you shall receive.”

Harry gently pushed Severus back down to his seat when he made a motion to get up to serve them both. “No, stay down. I’m already up, pet." Harry moved over to the tray cooling on the countertop. "We’ve talked about doing meals with you kneeling and me feeding you before," he said as he moved around the kitchen, "and we will for the rest of this weekend. But tonight I wanted to make your favorite and that’s a bit too messy for all that.”

Severus just observed him quietly as Harry plated up lasagne for them both, and bowls of green salad with extra tomatoes, feta cheese, and the balsamic dressing Severus preferred. Toasted garlic bread with melted mozzarella was piled on a small tray he placed between them on the table. Harry could feel Severus’ gaze fixed on him the entire time it took him to get dinner together. His eyes followed the motion of Harry’s hand as he poured them both a glass of Severus’ favorite chianti. 

“Thank you, sir,” Severus said quietly once Harry had sat down. 

Harry just smiled, reached across the table and clasped his lover’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I love you. You deserve all the best things. Hopefully it turned out all right.”

Severus squeezed back, but did not respond verbally. He appeared to already be a bit uncomfortable with the attention, which didn't bode well for the rest of the evening, since Harry intended to pay a great deal of attention to him. 

"Eat your meal, Severus. Finish the salad and have at least one piece of the bread, you'll like it. No more than one glass of the wine."

Severus nodded dutifully and tucked into the meal. 

They chatted a bit throughout dinner, a slight discussion of work and friends and upcoming plans. Severus was deferential, and used the formal address he'd been instructed to. As time went on, he began to relax more, in an excellent mood from the delicious meal despite his earlier discomfort with the clothing he was wearing. 

"Dinner was delicious, sir," Severus said after he'd polished off the last bite. "You didn't need to make me my favorites."

"I wanted to. I like to cook for you. And the plan for this weekend is pleasure and I intend to give you a lot of it."

"I expected more instructions related to pleasing _you_. Isn't that the point of you taking control?"

"Oh, you will please me, pet. It pleases me when you relax and let yourself accept pleasure. And when you obey, even when it's difficult for you. I'm proud of you for wearing the clothes I bought for you. I know it makes you feel exposed but I love getting to see your gorgeous body."

Severus just scoffed. "Do you need new glasses, sir?"

"Here's another rule for you. No self-deprecating comments," Harry said firmly. "And we're going to spend all evening focusing on that body and all the nice things it deserves to feel."

Severus hesitated. "What do you mean?"

"What was the first order I gave you tonight?"

"Shower and change clothes," Severus responded quickly.

"And do you know why?"

He hesitated a moment, considering. "So I would be clean? And...and know I was wearing what you wanted?"

"That's true, but not quite why. Did you notice the soap and the shampoo were the scents that you liked? Cedar and sandalwood?” Harry stroked his fingertips over the dark hair on Severus’ forearm, trailing idly around the knobs on the side of his wrists and up over his palm as he spoke. “How did it feel in the shower, love? Warm water running over your skin, the lather of the soap, the woodsy scent filling the air. Did that feel good?"

"Yes...it did, sir," Severus replied, bemused. 

"Good. Getting clean should feel nice. And dinner was your favorite because you also deserve the pleasure of a tasty, nutritious meal. Did you enjoy it?"

"I--yes, very much, sir."

"I know we both know what it's like to go hungry, or to eat whatever we can manage. But food isn't just for survival, eating a well-prepared meal is for pleasure too, and you deserve to enjoy that."

Severus looked some strange mix of both grateful and bewildered. "As you say. Sir," he said finally. 

Harry stood up. "Get the dishes and the kitchen cleaned up while I get some things ready in the bedroom. Meet me there when you're finished?"

\-------------

The bed was made and the duvet freshly laundered and spread neatly, the striped pattern laid out evenly just how Severus liked it to be. Harry had moved one pillow to the center at the top so Severus could lie comfortably in the middle. Right now he was still clothed in the cotton trousers and silk dressing gown, face up on the bed, and looking at Harry with slight apprehension.

“What is it you’re planning to do to me, again?”

“Oh, don’t look so troubled. I'm intending for you to enjoy yourself." He moved to seat himself near Severus on the bed. "Some things we’ve done before and some things are new, but I promised I’ve researched everything. We're doing some more sensory play things. I want to try out different feelings on your skin, all sorts of lovely sensations to experience. Some things might be more intense than others, but nothing should hurt. If you’re in any pain, or it stops feeling good, you’ll let me know immediately. And I’ll ask you your colors as we go and you’ll respond honestly, do you understand?

Severus nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“Perfect,” Harry said, climbing up on the bed to settle himself next to him. He smoothed Severus’ hair back from his face, tucking a few loose strands behind his ear. He couldn’t help leaning down to steal a kiss. “So perfect,” Harry whispered against his lover’s mouth as he pulled back, his fingers moving up to trace along his chin and jawline. 

He repositioned himself, moving to press several light kisses against Severus’ face, down along his neck, paying extra attention to the scars at his throat before moving to cover all the skin exposed by the robe with kisses. Harry looked up to meet Severus’ eyes, but although there was a light smile tugging at his lover’s lips, he didn’t appear to know where to look, his eyes awkwardly darting between Harry and the ceiling and the wall before eventually just falling closed. 

“I’d like to blindfold you for this. Would that be okay with you?”

Severus’ eyes snapped open. He did not immediately refuse, but furrowed his brow slightly, his head tilted in thought. He pursed his lips, mouth opened to speak, but then quickly closed.

“It wouldn’t have to be for the whole night," Harry explained, hoping to make the decision easier. "And I won’t leave you alone, I’ll be right here and talking the entire time.”

“I do believe you’ll be talking the entire time, yes,” Severus said in such a deadpan tone Harry almost didn’t catch the joke.

“Ha! You know me so well, love.” Harry summoned the blindfold from the chest of play items he’d been sorting out all week. “What do you say?”

“Yes,” he said finally, nodding his assent, and Harry secured the cloth blindfold around his eyes, Severus adjusting it slightly until it was comfortable.

Once that was settled, Harry smoothed down the silk over Severus’ arms, lightly massaging the biceps and then stroking gently over the skin of his forearms, light enough to almost tickle. “Doesn’t the silk feel nice against your skin? Do you prefer silk? Or the cotton?” He moved one hand to squeeze lightly at his upper thigh, smoothing the pyjama bottoms down and pressing the fabric against the skin of his legs.

“Mmm, the cotton is softer, sir,” he replied quietly. “But I prefer the silk.”

“I’m going to untie the robe,” Harry said, opening the front to expose the rest of Severus’ chest. He twined his fingers into the wiry chest hair, tracing the sparse and patchy trail down to the thicker mass of hair surrounding his belly button, pulling very gently at the hair and just barely scraping his nails across the skin of his stomach. “Color?”

“Green, obviously,” Severus grumbled. “You haven’t actually _done_ anything yet.” 

Harry chuckled. “So impatient! Well, I suppose I should do something then, shouldn’t I?”

He pondered over the toy chest for a moment, finally selecting a large feather, softer than a quill. They’d used this one before so it should be familiar to Severus. He ran the feather lightly over the skin of his chest, and Severus flinched very slightly at the sensation. It wasn’t quite enough to truly tickle, especially with the motions Harry was using, but judging by the way Severus was reacting, he could definitely feel at least something. Stroking it over his nipples earned some reaction, but not quite the squirming Harry was hoping for. 

“Not doing much for you, pet?” 

“It’s not unpleasant.”

“Oh, but we’re looking for _pleasant_ sensations. Hmm, I have a new one to try.” He brought out one of the new items he’d purchased this week. It was called a rabbit fur flogger and though he’d initially balked at the name, it was meant more for sensory play than impact play, which neither of them had any interest in. The shopkeeper assured him that even if he swung it full force it would barely do more than a gentle sting. He ran the thick strands of soft fur along Severus’ chest, earning him a few subtle twitches. “How’s this feel, hmmm? Nice and soft?” He used one of the strings of fur to deliberately attempt to tickle along his neck and down over his armpit and side. The slight shimmy Severus made in response made Harry smile, and he repeated the action along his other side, alternating the soft tickle of fur with light scrapes and scratches from his fingernails until Severus was forced to laugh, though he tried to hold it back until it came out more like a sharp gurgling sound at the base of his throat. 

“Color?”

“Green. Unless you intend to tickle me the entire evening, in which case yellow, so we can talk and I can convince you otherwise.”

“Ha ha,” Harry said. “No, I have other plans besides tickling you, though I do enjoy making you laugh. Or whatever that was. Maybe I’ll get a proper one out of you by the end of the night.”

“Mmm,” Severus said noncommittally. He was definitely getting quite relaxed, Harry thought. That was good. 

Harry tugged at the robe, fully open but still covering his arms. “Can we take this off properly?” At Severus’ nod of assent, he helped him maneuver himself out of the clothing, sending it over to the chest of drawers. At the new revelation of skin in his sight, Harry couldn’t help but move to cover over the shoulders and biceps with touches and kisses. How could he resist? “Beautiful,” he announced, and Severus quirked his mouth at the statement, but he must have remembered his rule from earlier and wisely stayed silent. “You are,” Harry said anyway. “You’re beautiful and I’m lucky to have you all laid out for me like a present. Can I take the trousers off too?” he asked, stroking over his lower leg and toying with the hem.

“Yes,” Severus said after a few moments. 

“Well, that’s interesting,” Harry said, pulling the cotton trousers off. “I don’t seem to recall putting pants with the clothes I told you to wear.”

Severus paused. “I assumed it was an oversight.”

“You assumed,” Harry said, his tone making his disapproval clear. “Maybe I didn’t want you wearing pants. Maybe I wanted you to feel the fabric of the new trousers directly against your cock all through dinner.” Harry traced the bulge through the pants, rubbing gently until he felt it stiffen under his touch. 

"Well, since you want to wear these so much, I suppose you can just keep them on and I'll have to touch you everywhere else instead."

Severus made a rather undignified growl of disapproval, bucking his hips up at the lack of contact when Harry moved his attentions back to his chest. Harry just clicked his tongue. “If you’re very, very good I might just change my mind. Not yet though, teasing you is too much fun.” He whispered the last words directly into Severus’ ear and punctuated the sentence with a nip to the shell, which made Severus jerk slightly, much to Harry’s approval. 

“Do you think you can try to stay still for me? Can you be a good boy, and just relax and let me touch you all over?”

“I--I can, sir. Yes, sir, please touch me.”

“So good for me,” Harry said, leaning in for a kiss, pushing his tongue in his lover’s hot mouth, and moving to straddle him. He draped his body over Severus’ and cradled the back of his head, pulling him closer and kissing him until they were both panting. Severus brought his hands up to twist in Harry’s hair and pull him down again when he broke the kiss, but Harry gently pulled his hands away. “No, pet,” Harry said, still holding him by the wrist. “What did I say about being still?”

“I apologize, sir.” Severus said, breathing still uneven and thin lips deliciously flushed and full from the kiss. “I’ll be good.”

“I know you will be. You’re such a good, lovely, gorgeous boy for me aren’t you? I’ll help you remember.” Harry moved Severus' arms down and touched them to the headboard. “Hold onto the slots here. I know you don’t like restraints, I won’t tie you even if you let go, but you won’t let go, will you?” He moved to kiss along his cheekbones, his temple over the blindfold, his hair. “You’ll hold on to the headboard because I asked you to, and you’ll do your best to be still for me, isn’t that right?”

Severus grasped the headboard just as he was instructed and nodded sharply, a light flush lighting his cheeks. “Yes, sir, I’ll be good,” he said softly, already affected by the praise. 

Now that the fun could really begin, Harry made full use of his variety of implements. Soft fur across his nipples evoked a lovely twitch, which Severus was quick to still. Harry was pleased to discover that the skin just above his hips was a particularly ticklish spot when he brought out stiffer feathers. A metal pinwheel was next, not hard enough of a press to cause real pain, but enough to wake up the nerves (Severus made some absolutely _delightful_ sounds when Harry had got to his inner thighs). Wooden rollers along the soles of his feet were apparently _not_ not something he cared for, but Severus gave a much better reaction once Harry had him turn over so he could focus on his back. 

Harry gathered up his long hair and twisted it off to the side, tickling at the space behind his ears as he did so, and helped Severus settle comfortably on his front. Harry ran his fingers over the long expanse of his back, scratching lightly, then stopped to toy with the hem of the pants.

"I want to touch you here too, but you're all covered up," Harry said with disappointment, rubbing the fabric over his cheeks. 

"You can remove the pants, sir," Severus said with a slight wiggle. "I won't mind!"

"No, no," Harry said, clicking his tongue. "You wanted to disobey and wear pants tonight, so you'll wear them. For now," Harry added, reassuring him with a quick kiss to his back. "I thought of a compromise, though."

Harry used his wand to transfigure the back of the briefs into a t-back, vanishing most of the fabric, and giving the now exposed buttocks a squeeze. "There!" he said with a smile, biting back a laugh at Severus' mutter of disapproval. 

Harry started again, using a variety of metal, wood, fabric, and leather implements to create interesting and pleasant sensations all along Severus’ back. The drag of a metal chain along the backs of his knees evoked a pleasured sigh, and the pinwheel over thighs and the soft flesh of his arse cheeks made him moan and shift slightly. After going through all the tools in the chest, Harry decided to flip him over again and focus especially on more erotic touches, touches and licks over his nipples and belly, bites at his inner thighs.

Harry checked in frequently throughout the entire scene, receiving several greens of varying levels of enthusiasm. He let his lover’s reactions guide his movements, making a map of his body. Though Severus did his best to be still, Harry could see in the clenching of muscles and the minute jerks and twitches what was affecting him the most. All the while, Harry talked, murmuring praises about how wonderful he was, how well he was doing, how lovely it must be feeling. Severus was not one to speak often during sex, and rarely vocalized what he wanted, but Harry had plans to work on that this weekend. For now though, he was content with moans and whimpers and the occasional ‘yes, yes, please’.

“You’re absolutely gorgeous right now love. Do you know why? There’s nothing like seeing you twitch with anticipation, your stomach tightening when something feels really good, and even after all this you're holding on and lying still for me just like I asked you to.” Harry scratched along the underside of his knees, up along his inner thighs, rubbing the muscle and alternating scratches and licks along the hem of Severus’ pants, currently tented by his very hard and very neglected cock. “And I love making you feel good. It’s too bad you decided to wear pants, otherwise you would have been able to feel all of this on your cock and bollocks too.” He tsked in mock disappointment.

Severus let out a sound somewhere between a whimper and a pained whine. “Please, please…”

“Please what, love? What do you want?” Harry hooked a finger under the waistband and pulled it down enough to nuzzle against his hip, dropping a kiss to the dimple in the skin there. 

“Please take the pants off, Harry, I’m sorry I put them on! You must have been teasing me for over an hour!”

“Address me properly, pet, and ask a little nicer or I’m just going to start again and watch that damp spot get bigger,” Harry said with a smirk.

Severus tilted his head back and groaned. He took a ragged breath. “Please, please take the pants off, sir. Please touch my cock, sir, I’m aching and I’ve been good and I want you to please, please touch my cock. Sir!” Severus said, panting, and though his eyes were still covered with the blindfold Harry knew he was doing his very best pleading gaze.

Harry hummed a moment, pretending to consider the request. “Well you sound so hot when you beg, Sev, so I suppose I’ll allow it. I do want to see that gorgeous cock of yours. It’s nice and hard and dripping for me, isn’t it? He asked, pulling the pants off of him and freeing the erection.

“Yes, yes it is!” Severus agreed, impatiently thrusting up.

“I’m being very indulgent with you, pet, but you aren’t following directions well.”

Severus stilled immediately. “I’m sorry, sir. Please forgive me, sir.”

Harry positioned himself so he was lying side by side with Severus, facing toward him. He hooked a leg over Severus’ to keep them open, and used his hands to pull the blindfold up. Severus' black eyes held surprise and a little concern, after squinting and blinking rapidly as his eyes were exposed to the light again. “Sir?”

“I wanted to see those pretty eyes,” Harry said, smiling, and unstuck the sweaty hair from his forehead, stroking the strands back from his face. “You’ve been very good about not letting go of the headboard, and you’ve taken all the new feelings very well. I have two more things I want to try. So you get to choose. Either you can touch yourself now and make yourself come. Or I’ll touch you, but only make you come when I’m finished with you. Hmm?" Harry asked, hands toying with the ends of Severus' hair. 

Severus closed his eyes and moaned. "You," he finally said, quietly. "I want you."

Harry smiled. "That's the choice I was hoping for. I'm taking the blindfold off, I want to look at your beautiful face." 

He started to stroke Severus, rubbing his thumb against the slit and swirling the precome around the head. He wanked him slowly, moving to cup his balls, all the while peppering soft kisses along his shoulder and whispering in his ear. "Does this feel nice, love? You look so beautiful with your head thrown back in pleasure. Can you moan for me some more? Let me hear that beautiful voice?"

Severus moaned, a grumble low in his throat. "Yes, sir. It feels--it feels very good," he whispered, eyes tightly closed.

When Severus appeared to be getting closer to orgasm, Harry removed his hand, silencing the whimper that followed with a kiss. "Two more things I want you to feel, pet. Hot and cold. What's your color?"

"Gr-green, sir."

Harry summoned the next items he'd been looking forward to trying. He withdrew an ice cube, wet and slippery from a bowl he'd had under a Stasis Charm, and ran it over Severus' chest, enjoying the gasp when it made his nipples pebble under the cold. He followed the path of the melting ice with his lips, laving away the chill with his tongue. Severus was apparently finding it very difficult to be still, but Harry enjoyed watching him fight it too much to say anything. His face was flushed and dewed with a light sheen of sweat, and the ragged breathing and moans he made when Harry covered cold, wet skin with his hot breath and tongue brought a grin to his face. 

When the cube was mostly melted, Harry wandlessly vanished the remains. He slid his chilled fingers down to Severus' cock, ghosting over the heated flesh and chuckled when Severus bucked to get away from the chill, making a very undignified squeak. 

"One last thing, but we've never done this before." Harry summoned a candle, especially designed for this type of play. He lit it with a quick wandless spell. He turned to Severus, questioning. "Color?"

Severus just stared at the flame for a moment. Harry waited. 

"I--yellow, sir."

Harry snuffed the candle and put it to the side. "Very, very good, being honest. Do you need a break? Here, move your arms." Harry pulled his arms back from the headboard and sat him upright. He moved behind him to massage the stiffness out of Severus’ shoulders and arms from gripping the headboard. "Want to tell me why you wanted to pause?" he asked encouragingly.

"I don't know if I want to do--something like being burned. I'm sorry, I--"

"Hey, hey." Harry rubbed Severus' back, pressed a kiss to his temple. "Don't you dare apologize for doing exactly what I asked and being honest. We don't have to ever do anything you don't want to do, I promise." He embraced Severus from behind. "It never would have burned you, the candles are completely safe, soy wax meant for beginners at this kind of thing. I tried it myself, it's just for the feeling, not painful. But we don't have to do it, ever, if you don't want it." He hugged Severus tighter. "This is all about making you feel good." He moved to kiss down his cheek, nuzzling his face into the scars on his neck. 

Severus sighed into his embrace. "I feel very good. I wouldn't mind trying it...some other time, maybe? When I can test it myself?"

"Absolutely," Harry promised. "Forget it for now. You did very well tonight and I am so, so proud of you for using a safe word when you needed to. Such a very good boy," he whispered, causing Severus to flinch slightly. "Hmm, did that tickle?" Harry asked, his voice low, hot breath teasing at the back of Severus' ear.

Severus' breath hitched, and he started to squirm, as Harry paid very close attention to the nerve behind his ear, kissing softly along the ridge.

"It's--ah, a bit ticklish there, when you, ah! Whisper."

"Oh, I'll have to pay extra attention to this ear then," Harry said with a grin, gently scraping his teeth along the shell of his ear, making kissing noises and running his fingertips along the nerve behind his ear and down to the base of his neck, tickling up and down as Severus shivered. "Does it feel tingly?"

Severus tried to fight back a smile, wriggling under the tickling sensation running down his spine as his body reacted to the combination of sound and touch and attention. 

"Well, I did promise to make you come when we were done, didn't I? How would you like it? My mouth? My arse? I could fuck you." He quickly pulled off his shirt before moving around so he could kiss down his chest, stopping to suck and nip at each nipple in turn.

Hands free, and no longer under orders to lie still, Severus reached out to touch Harry, running his hands over Harry's bare back and shuffled down the bed to tug Harry’s trousers off. "Mmm, fuck me, please? I've been thinking of your cock in my arse all day."

"Well, since you ask so sweetly…" he said with a cheeky wink and a grin, quickly getting the rest of his clothes off. It had been difficult to hold back from giving his own cock any attention while watching Severus respond to his touch, such pretty moans and delicious whimpers, and gave in to the ache to pump himself a few times before turning his focus back to Severus. 

He summoned lubricant and worked a finger into the tight hole while teasing at the head of Severus' cock with his tongue, lapping at the precome and loving the shudder that rippled through his lover's body as Harry took him deeper. He sucked the shaft into his mouth and swallowed down as far as he could take him. Eventually he added another digit, then a third, shallow thrusts to loosen him up until Severus bucked back against him.

"That's enough, sir, please, I'm ready for you, please," he panted, eyes desperate, and Harry couldn't hold back any longer. 

He thrust into him, adjusting his angle until he was stroking against his prostate, and pulled Severus up into a kiss, muffling the deep groans of pleasure at the contact as Harry kept up the deep thrusts.

Severus had wound his legs around Harry's back as soon as he entered him, kissing back passionately until falling back against the mattress, pinned against the bed as Harry fucked him, hard and quick after drawing out the scene for so long. 

After a symphony of ragged breaths and moans of pleasure from the both of them, Harry reached between them to stroke off Severus. "Come for me, sweetheart," Harry murmured as his own orgasm overtook him, and Severus groaned, tossing his head back. "Merlin, you're so, so gorgeous when you're coming," Harry panted out at the sight. "Love making you come, love you so much."

When they came down from their high, Severus was still clinging to him, leg canted over Harry's hip, face buried in his shoulder. For a few quiet moments they just held each other, waiting as their heart rates settled and their breathing evened out. 

"How was the first day of your weekend, Severus?"

Severus just sighed contentedly. "Green," he responded with a slight smirk. "Very, very green."

Harry just laughed, kissed his forehead. "Well, we've only just begun."

**Saturday**

_I smile into your mouth, my remedy  
to your every malady, let my eyes  
scream laughter and let my gaze fall  
on you. You tilt your head back  
and I bow my body down._

_I take your fingers in mine and between  
us we’re clasping your soul so tightly  
it begins to bleed. You say, look how I hurt._

_I say, yes, but dear, most wisdom stems from pain.  
"Kiss My Knuckles While I Hold Your Soul"  
Laala Kashef Alghata_

The next morning was a slow one, the two of them tangled awkwardly together, legs twisted over each other, and Severus lying stomach down, face half off the pillow, one arm over Harry's chest. 

Harry blinked a few times to clear the sleep from his vision, having been woken potentially by Severus' soft snoring. He smiled at the sight of his hair spilled helter skelter over the pillow, black strands half covering his face. Harry reached out to push the hair back, stroking over his forehead and smoothing down the thick eyebrows until Severus twitched, crinkling his nose at the sensation, and opened his eyes. 

"Good morning, beautiful."

Harry could tell Severus was not quite fully awake by the easy smile on his face at the greeting. Severus just hummed an affirmative noise and pulled Harry closer, burying his face in Harry's hair and inhaling deeply. Harry kissed what he could reach from his position pressed against him. He lamented that Severus had put his nightshirt on for bed, so his bare chest was pressed against fabric instead of warm skin, but he relished in the feeling of being held tight in his lover's arms, who was sleepy and content enough to just hold him without a hint of self-consciousness. Harry could feel the exact moment Severus was fully awake, since that's when he pulled away, gently untangling them and falling back towards his side of the bed. 

"I love waking up next to you," Harry said, stretching out and gazing at him fondly. "You're the first thing I want to see every morning."

Severus just cleared his throat awkwardly, his face reddening slightly. "You're quite welcome. Hard to avoid, as we do share a bed."

"I'm so happy we do. I'm really glad you moved in. Speaking of, we should do more to make this place ours. It feels like you've barely moved your things over, but it's been almost a month."

Severus did not acknowledge the statement, and Harry suspected this was one of the things they were going to need to get to the bottom of. He wasn't certain just what the issue or insecurity was, but Severus had moved over little more than the bare necessities even though he'd had ample time and opportunity to bring the rest. He'd rebuffed Harry's offer to help him pack. He seemed to be treating their living situation as temporary, and Harry was disturbed not knowing exactly _why_.

"Shall I make you breakfast, sir?" Severus said almost too politely, quickly reverting to his role in what Harry could see was a clear attempt to change the subject. "What would you like?"

Harry let it go for the moment. "Excellent idea, pet. First, brush your teeth, wash your face, and change into the robe and trousers from last night. I want tea, eggy bread with maple syrup, bacon and cut fruit. You can decide the fruits. Enough for two, but only one plate, understand?" At Severus' nod in agreement he kissed him again before rolling over. "I'm going to sleep for a bit more while you get it ready. Thank you, love." He set an alarm for fifteen minutes and dozed off while Severus set out to follow his instructions. 

The smell of breakfast cooking wafted through the air and Harry followed it to the kitchen, where Severus was finishing up. A small bowl of cut apples, grapes and melon sat on the counter, and Severus was turning the bacon and transferring the eggy bread to a plate. When he heard Harry enter, he passed him a mug of tea. "Breakfast is just about ready." 

"Excellent. You can serve me in the dining room." He took a sip from his mug. "The tea is perfect, as always. You know exactly how I like it, thank you."

Severus just nodded. "Yes, sir." 

Harry moved towards the hob, and pulled the back of the robe up slightly, cupping Severus' arse through his trousers and rubbing gently. No evidence of pants underneath the trousers this time. "Good boy, look who can follow directions now," he teased. He kneaded the flesh a few more times until Severus squirmed, and then retreated, straightening his clothes and going to the next room. 

He collected today's _Daily Prophet_ from the windowsill where the owl had left it, and retrieved a plush black cushion and set it next to his seat. He sat himself at the table, reading the front page and sipping his tea while he waited for breakfast. 

Before too long, Severus had arrived, setting a plate of food and the bowl of fruit salad in front of him. He looked uncertain what to do with his own mug of tea until Harry took it from him and put it on the table. "You can keep this on the chair next to you, or the table, whatever you can reach easier. Kneel here, pet," Harry said, gesturing to the cushion. "I'll be feeding you this morning. Robe off, but you can keep the trousers on."

Severus complied and they settled into a quiet breakfast. "This looks delicious. Excellent work," Harry said, breaking off the bacon into pieces and taking a bit himself, then feeding Severus. He set the paper to hover so he could read easily while feeding them both. Severus knelt quietly, keeping his hands in his lap except when drinking, eating breakfast from Harry's hand. Harry cut the eggy bread into pieces with a knife and fork, alternating bites between the two of them. "This bacon is cooked perfectly, exactly the way I like it," he said, watching Severus open his mouth to take the bite from Harry's fingers. 

"Thank you, sir," Severus replied softly, licking his lips. They continued on, Harry praising the fruit choices, "Did you put the apples in for me? Such a good pet, you know they're my favorite." 

As he reached the end of the bites of food, Harry decided he was really enjoying this, and from the look on Severus' face so was he. They'd have to do this for meals more often, even if they weren't playing this way for other things. There was something intoxicating about the act of not simply sharing a meal of tasty food together, but actually feeding his lover bite by bite. It was so intimate and it made Harry feel very close to Severus. He hoped Severus was feeling the same way. "Do you like this?"

"Yes," Severus responded. "Yes, very much," he added softly. 

"Good, I'm glad," Harry said, wiping a small trickle of syrup from the edge of Severus' mouth. "You deserve to enjoy yourself, the taste of a lovely breakfast, enjoy the pleasure of being fed by someone who loves you." Harry moved the syrup covered finger between Severus' lips, sighing when he not only darted out a tongue to lick it off, but took his whole finger in his mouth, sucking deeply. 

"Oh, pet, you're giving me ideas now."

"I don't know what you mean, sir. What sort of ideas?" Severus asked innocently, after pulling his mouth free with a soft pop. Judging by the glint in his eyes, he knew exactly what he was doing, and Harry chuckled at the playfulness. 

"Would you like to move under the table, and show me what else you can do with that mouth while I read the paper?"

"Yes, sir," Severus said, quickly moving the cushion over and repositioning himself underneath the table between Harry's legs. Harry pulled his cock free from the pyjamas, already starting to harden at the prospect of Severus' mouth on him. He moaned softly at the first contact of that wet heat along his shaft, Severus sucking him in deeply. He made a show of reading the paper, but Severus was sucking his cock with such enthusiasm he could hardly bring himself to care about the Quidditch scores, or the Minister for Magic's latest scandal. 

He moved his hand down to caress Severus' head, petting through his hair as Severus licked and sucked. "So good, such a good boy, you're absolutely amazing at this, pet. That's it--yes, yes, use your hands on my balls too--oh, just like that, exactly, you're so perfect." Harry kept up the instructions and praise, losing himself in the bliss of his lover's attention. Despite focusing entirely on him (and wasn't that a heady thought?), Harry could see Severus was getting quite aroused too. "Are you getting hard, pet? Hmm? Does it turn you on knowing how good you are at sucking cock? That I can barely focus on anything but that sweet mouth of yours?"

Harry could feel Severus' moan of arousal around his cock and nearly came just from that. "I'm so close, pet. You can touch yourself, but no coming, and you have to stop once I've come down your throat. Okay?" Severus nodded vigorously, and Harry groaned. "Go ahead, stroke yourself. Ah, ah, oh you think you're very clever, slowing down so you can touch yourself longer, don't you? Clever boy, but I don't think so," Harry jostled his hips, using his hands still twisted in Severus' hair to gently encourage him to speed up. "Does that feel good? Do you like wanking with my cock in your mouth? Hmm?"

Severus bobbed his head in agreement, moaning around his cock, then taking him deeper. "Oh, I'm close, so close. Are you going to swallow for me? Oh, I love this so much, love you." Harry kept murmuring praises as he came, reaching down to Severus' arms to help tear his hands away from his own needy cock.

"Shhh, it's all right, pet, you can do it." Harry smoothed down his hair, rubbed his shoulders as Severus groaned, frustrated. He balled his hands into fists and pressed them against his thighs in the effort to refrain from continuing to touch himself.

"I love you like this, you're so hard and aching and you're still obeying me. Such a good boy. Hmm, did you like that?" When he was met with only a petulant whine, Severus' face flushed and his eyes closed tight, he decided to push it a little further. "Answer me, love. Use your words."

Severus ducked his head forward, hair falling into his face, but he answered. "Yes. Yes, sir, I enjoyed doing it. Hearing you...moan, and tell me what you liked, how much you--you loved...what I was doing."

"I did love it, Severus," Harry said, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. "And I love that it was _you_ making me feel so wonderful, my perfect, perfect boy." He kissed along his hairline, murmuring praises into his ear until he could feel him shiver. "What an excellent start to the day."

Severus was holding his position, beginning to calm down and even had the ghost of a smile on his face. But Harry wanted to make absolutely certain he was still enjoying the plans for this morning. "I'd love to touch that gorgeous cock of yours, but not yet, all right? And no touching and absolutely no coming until I say so." Harry tilted Severus' chin up until their eyes met. "What's your color, love?"

"Green!" Severus replied quickly. "I love--" he cut himself off and replied more meekly. "Green, sir. I don't mind waiting."

A smile tugged at Harry's lips. "No, what were you about to say? Were you going to tell me you love how it feels? Or that you love being ordered to wait? What is it?" Harry pulled him up into his lap, arms encircling his waist and Severus' legs on either side of him. Severus grunted in surprise at the sudden movement, and Harry looked up into his face. "This weekend is about you, and I want to make sure I'm making you feel as good as I can. The rules about responding honestly aren't just to stop me if you're feeling uncomfortable, Severus. I want you to vocalize what you like too."

Severus bent forward, partially to move closer into his embrace, but also to help obscure his face from Harry's so he couldn't see him clearly when he spoke. They'd have to work on that, but for now Harry just waited patiently for him to speak, holding him close and trailing his fingers over the bony ridges along his back. 

"I like how it feels to be aroused, but waiting on purpose...it's very--enjoyable to know that I could just go to loo and wank if I wanted to, but I don't because I know it'll feel even better when you do. And that you will and you want to...touch me, it's very…very arousing knowing that you enjoy touching me."

"I love making you feel good, and I know you've said it's much better and more intense when you finally come after waiting or edging. Everything I want to do this weekend I do because I want you to enjoy it. Do you trust me?"

"I believe you, sir."

"This morning has been lovely so far, pet. I hope you enjoy the rest of the day too. But we have one problem."

"Sir?" Severus questioned, and Harry could just make out his eyes through the curtain of dark hair. 

"When you get embarrassed you try to hide behind your hair, and then I can't see your beautiful face."

Severus scoffed, but Harry shushed him. "No, none of that. It's true. And I want to look at my lover's face when he tells me how aroused he is and why. Kneel now, back towards me," Harry said, helping Severus down onto the cushion at his feet and repositioning him. He carded his fingers through the long, dark hair.

"Har--Sir, you won't, you aren't going to cut it?" Severus asked nervously.

"Of course not," Harry said immediately, reassuring him by bending down and encircling him in his arms. "Never, I know you like to keep it long and even though we could regrow it with magic I'd never violate your trust like that. I'm sorry, Severus, I know your hair is a sensitive subject and I should have been more clear. I just want to brush it out and plait it back to keep it out of your lovely face, is that all right?"

"Yes, sir, I'd like that. I didn't really think you would cut it. I just--" Severus trailed off, leaning into Harry's embrace. 

"You have beautiful hair, particularly when you take care of it well. I love how long it is." Harry carded his fingers through the inky black strands several times before summoning the hairbrush and tie. He spent several minutes brushing it out, long smooth strokes until Severus appeared completely relaxed, swaying along with the motions of the brush. Harry gathered the strands as best he could in a somewhat neat plait. 

"I need to get better at this," Harry said, trying off the end in a black leather band. 

"Hmm? Planning a career as a hair stylist?"

"I just don't want it to fall apart in ten minutes."

"Well then you'll just have to do it again," Severus said mildly, and Harry laughed. 

He kissed lightly along the plaited strands at the top of his head. "I love playing with your hair. Do you like it as much as I do?"

Severus paused a moment, considering. "I didn't expect I would, but yes, I do enjoy it. No one else ever has. But it's nice, when you do. You're very careful not to pull too hard, even if you are clumsy at plaiting."

"Good," Harry said. "I'm glad, and I'm glad I can see that gorgeous face of yours now." Severus actually almost smiled this time, though it disappeared as quickly as it came. Still, Harry considered that a victory. "And speaking of gorgeous, it's beautiful outside today. When was the last time you spent any time outdoors?" At Severus' silence, Harry continued. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Let's go explore our property."

Harry's house in Gloucestershire had a nice bit of woodsy area, normal for a Muggle property, but unbeknownst to the neighboring Muggles, his property line encircled a wizarding area. A forest in wizard space meant they had a good amount of the outdoors to explore, and the wards on their property line meant they'd encounter no unexpected guests on their walk together. 

Harry had picked out comfortable outdoor clothing and shoes for them both. They changed, and before they set out Harry announced they'd be packing up a picnic lunch. He gathered up the basket, some wine and napkins and utensils, and asked Severus to start picking out things he'd like to bring. They gathered more of the fruit used for breakfast, some cheese, a loaf of the crusty bread Severus liked from his favorite Muggle bakery (Harry had gone ‘round yesterday morning to get it in anticipation of today. As well as more than a few sweets and baked goods). Thick cut ham and some cold leftover chicken. By the time the basket was packed, Severus looked at him questioningly, gesturing to the amount of food. "Are all of the Weasleys going to be joining us on this excursion?"

"Oh no, just Ron and the twins." Harry laughed. "Joking!" he exclaimed before Severus could respond. "Oh, well, we don't have to eat all of it. I like to have options."

"As you say. Sir," Severus said, in a tone that was much more insolent than deferential, but Harry loved it. He cast a feather-light charm on the basket and, mindful of the heat, added plenty of water and a sun protection potion.

"It's so nice out today," Harry said, stretching out his arms to soak up more of the sunshine. "It was chilly last night but I'm glad it warmed up for us. We've barely been outside together at all since you've moved in. I don't think you've even sat in the garden."

"I was reading on the sofa in the orangery the other day," Severus replied. "I still can't believe you have a house with an orangery. What a ridiculous indulgence."

"I like it! And you'd mentioned that you'd liked the one the Malfoy's have so I wanted you to have one here."

Severus was silent. "But you purchased the house almost a year ago," he said cautiously.

"Yeah?" Harry asked, confused. "You said that forever ago, though, when we spoke at Draco's party after you got out of St. Mungo's."

"No, I mean, why would…" he trailed off. Severus appeared frustrated that Harry wasn't understanding him. It took a moment, but the penny dropped. 

"Oh! Well, I was always going to ask you to live with me. When we got together I knew I could hardly ask you to move into Grimmauld Place, so I started looking for something you would like." He laughed. "Didn't you wonder why I asked you so many questions about houses whenever I saw you? I didn't think I was being very subtle."

"I suppose I had a suspicion...but I thought perhaps you were just excited about purchasing a home and wanted other opinions."

"I wanted your opinion, Severus. I kept dropping hints about living together but you always acted like you didn't notice, or didn't want to." Harry was suddenly very nervous. What if he had the whole thing wrong, and Severus genuinely hated it there, didn't want to live with him, or even be with Harry at all? He stopped walking and turned to face him. "Do you? Want to? Why did you finally agree?"

"Why I always agree, Harry," Severus replied softly. "I couldn't bring myself to say no any more." 

Harry furrowed his brow, but before he could respond to that statement, Severus had pointed out a small cluster of some flowers that apparently made for a good potions ingredient and walked to the side to gather the petals in a conjured pouch. What was that supposed to mean? Couldn't say no? He hadn't sounded like a man who had been harassed into a relationship. He'd sounded almost...sad. 

Well, that did support Harry's working theory that Severus felt insecure in their relationship, not that he didn't _love_ Harry. But then again….though he had said "I love you" before, he didn't do it very often. Severus was a man who kept his feelings close to the chest, but Harry couldn't go on much longer with this uncertainty either. He was going to have to dig deeper. 

"Do you miss teaching ever?" Harry asks, finally. Best to ease into it. He had learned about how to approach Severus in the years since the war, and cornering him into a confession wasn't going to end well for anyone. 

Severus just gave a derisive snort. "Hardly."

"Not even a little? You must have had N.E.W.T. students who weren't dunderheads."

"Hmm. There were a few," Severus allowed. "But I never wanted to teach. And I was never very well suited for it."

"You're brilliant though. Especially at potions. I can't believe you were editing the textbook as a teenager."

Severus allowed a wry smile.

"You know I was in love with the Half-Blood Prince."

"Yes," Severus said slowly, raising an eyebrow. "You had mentioned that, although I cannot possibly imagine why. I doubt you'd have felt that way if you'd actually met me at sixteen."

"Oh, I don't know about that." Harry sidled up closer to Severus and took his hand, holding it as they continued meandering throughout the woods. "I used to imagine that, you know. Meeting the Prince. Or talking to him through the book somehow. He'd be funny and clever and snog me senseless, of course."

"Through the book?" Severus asked with a raised eyebrow. 

"These were teenage fantasies, Severus, they didn't have to make sense. The snogging was really the important bit."

Severus snorted. "And then you found out it was me," he said glumly. 

"Yeah," Harry said. "It was you. And the Half-Blood Prince gave me a pretty phenomenal blowjob this morning, so I think my teenage dreams have come true."

"I used to dream about meeting someone, when I was that age," Severus finally said after a while of being quiet. "I'd imagine what I wanted most. They'd be very clever, and strong, and kind, and would tell me I deserved better than I had, and take me away from my miserable life."

Harry clasped the hand in his tighter, stroking gently over the back of Severus' hand with his thumb. "I wish I had known you then. I wish I could have been that for you."

Severus squeezed back a few times but didn’t say anything. As Harry cast about for something suitable to say, Severus spoke up. “You are that,” he finally said, so quietly Harry almost didn’t hear him. “Now.”

“Always,” Harry said firmly, and pulled him into a kiss. When Severus kissed back it was softer than he would have expected, sweeter. Severus finally broke the kiss, pulling back with a deep breath. He spoke before Harry could continue what he wanted to say, assure him further that he wanted to be everything Severus needed forever. 

“You haven’t given me any instructions for a while, sir. Are we meant to just wander about the woods for the remainder of the day?” he asked casually.

Harry knew a subject change when he saw one, but he also knew that Severus was looking for a way to get back into a mindset where it was easier to let go. He was more than happy to help get Severus more comfortable again. 

“You’re right, pet. How about you help me find a nice clearing to lay out in? I have a few ideas about how to spend our time.”

They walked through the wooded area a while longer, still hand in hand, and Harry chattered on about the beautiful day, the warm breeze, how happy he was to have his perfect, gorgeous pet by his side. He asked Severus to identify certain plants, types of trees. They did end up finding a few potential potions ingredients, which Harry ordered Severus to collect for him. Of course, he was going to do that anyway, but Harry instructing him had the added benefit of effusive praise for doing as he was told, which Severus soaked up happily. 

Eventually, they came to a pond and a wide open clearing beside it. It was a charming scene, like something out of a film, sun-dappled grass and clusters of wildflowers, set against the backdrop of water in front of them and woods behind. Harry asked Severus to spread out the thick blanket they’d brought with them and Harry sat down towards the side, removing his shoes and socks so he could rest his bare feet on the grass. He had Severus do the same, and sit down beside him. 

“I couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful day. The sun is shining and even the breeze is warm. Close your eyes, love.” 

Severus did so, and was gently guided to sit back on his elbows, knees bent and feet in the grass. “Feel the sun on your face, pet? The grass on your feet? The soft blanket underneath your arms?” 

Severus nodded shortly, his brow slightly furrowed as if there was going to be an examination coming up. Harry chuckled, smoothed out his brow with his fingertips. “Relax, love. Here, lie back properly.” He moved him down. “Is it all right if I unbutton your shirt?” Severus nodded. Harry opened the shirt up, exposing his torso to the sunlight. He’d never actually seen his lover in the midday sun before, and found himself admiring him. “You’re so beautiful,” Harry murmured, moving to kiss down his neck and over his chest. The sunlight made the scars seem even more prominent, the dark reds and pinks a stark contrast to the pale skin of his chest. There were smaller scars littered all over the skin as well, pale silvery lines that glittered under the sunlight, a patch of a burn scar on his side that had a glowing sheen to it. Harry moved to touch them all, feel the difference in skin: ropy, thick ridges at his neck, silky smoothness at his side, wiry hair and small pits of unknown origin near his shoulders. “Can I take your shirt all the way off? I want to see all of your skin.”

“Why?” Severus asked, not unhappily, just bemused, but moved to assist Harry in taking it off. 

“Because you're such a very good boy and you’ll do what I ask? Tell me your color.”

“Green, sir.”

“All right, I want you to lie back and relax for me, arms up above your head. Yes, perfect, just like that. Can you keep your eyes closed for me, or do you want a blindfold?”

“Mmm, a blindfold please, sir? It’s still bright looking up even with my eyes closed.”

“Oh, thank you for telling me.” He removed the blindfold from his pocket, and tied it around Severus’ head. “Comfortable?” 

Severus nodded, and sighed.

“I want to put some of the sun protection potion on you. Is it all right to use over the scars here?” Harry asked, gently stroking along his throat. 

Severus shook his head slightly. “It wouldn’t hurt me, but just use the Sunscreen Charm there? It can make the pain salve less effective if I have to use it later.”

“Ah, I’m glad I asked.” Harry cast the charm over the area in question, then on himself. 

He pressed a quick kiss to Severus’ lips. “I want you to focus on my voice. Just breathe, nice deep breaths. Very good. You smell the flowers? That warm summery smell on the breeze? Very good, just enjoy. Listen to my voice, the birds chirping in the distance. Can you hear the little creek that feeds the pond?” While Harry talked, he started rubbing the potion into Severus’ skin. Long, smooth strokes up and down his torso, along his sides, around his shoulders, careful to avoid the perimeter of the large scar. He rubbed down along his arms, firmly along the muscle of his biceps and gently along his forearm. He took a moment to observe the scar on his left forearm, the remnants of the Dark Mark leaving an unsightly red splotch. The skull and snake design was no longer apparent, just the vague outline as if the magical ink had burned away. Which, Harry supposed, it had. Harry continued speaking, repeating some phrases over and over, drawing Severus' attention to the pleasurable sensations, sounds and scents and touches. 

Harry gave the potion a few minutes to sink in, still stroking over his skin, but more lightly this time. "You feel relaxed, pet? Isn't it nice, spending time outside? You're safe, this is our property, you can just enjoy how it feels, hmm?" He laid down next to him in his side, and Severus turned his face towards him with a lazy motion, clearly relaxed. Harry traced along his lips with a fingertip, Severus reacted by attempting to kiss. "Does the sunlight feel nice, pet? Answer."

"Yes, sir," Severus replied, slightly dazed. "Thank you, sir," he added, the corners of his mouth twitching toward a smile.

"You deserve to feel nice things." Harry moved him so he was on his side facing Harry, and put his arm around him, lightly scratching his back. "Like all the things you tried last night, when you were being so good for me. And the sunlight on your skin, and the warm breeze on your face…"

"And your arms?" Severus muttered quietly, then suddenly stiffened. He had clearly not intended for that thought to be verbalized, but before he could panic, Harry just held him tighter. 

"That's right," he said, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "My arms around you, you deserve that too. I love this, love holding you and being held by you."

Harry moved to kiss him properly, and Severus kissed back with fervor. Snogging each other senseless, Harry thought with a smile, just like he'd wanted to do with the Half-Blood Prince years ago. The blindfold had started to slip amongst the action, and Harry peeled it off and removed it entirely. Severus blinked against the renewed brightness, than closed his eyes as Harry returned his lips to his. As they kissed, Harry tweaked and rubbed at his lover's nipples, pressing his leg between the two of them until he could feel Severus' hard cock against his thigh. 

"Hmm, are you hard again?" Harry asked, giving the bulge in Severus' shorts a light squeeze. "Do you think I should let you come this time? Or tease you some more?"

"Can't we do both, sir?" Severus asked after taking a deep breath. 

"What an interesting proposition. Clever boy," Harry said, rewarding him with a quick kiss. "Tease you for a while, but then let you come? Hmm, you might be able to convince me. Think you can be a good boy for me?"

Severus nodded rapidly. "Yes, sir, I can. I can be good for you."

“I know you will be, pet,” Harry said and kissed him on the tip of his nose. “Take off the bottoms and sit up.” When Severus didn’t comply immediately, Harry checked in. “Color, love? There’s no one here but us.”

“Green. I just...it’s so bright out.” He muttered the last words, but began to unbutton his shorts. 

“That’s right. I’ll be able to see every bit of you, clear as day. Every gorgeous part. Won’t you do that for me?”

When Severus had stripped down, he pulled him close, sitting up and holding him so his back was against Harry’s chest. He ran his hands down along Severus’ sides, over his hips, caressing his thighs. He kissed down the side of Severus’ face and along his neck. “Perfect. I love all these little spots, these scars here, this little mole, the place on your chest where the hair is patchy and not filled in...” Harry ran his hands all over Severus’ body, commenting on the little imperfections he found there. Severus just sank down while pressing back, as if trying to escape from and settle into Harry’s touches and praises at the same time.

“What do you do when you wank, hmm? Will you show me?”

Severus stilled for a minute, then shook his head.

“Why? Are you embarrassed? I want to see how you make yourself feel good.”

“I--I don’t, really, sir.”

“No? You just don’t have the desire?” Harry was surprised, and a bit curious. “What about before we were together, or when you were a teenager?”

“I don’t…” Severus muttered something under his breath.

“Speak up, pet. Answer me when I ask you a question,” Harry said, gentle but commanding.

“I don’t like...touching myself. When I need release, I just--” Severus made a motion with his hand, a rather violent looking shake.

“Just, hard and fast, until it’s over?”

“Yes. Exactly.” Severus nodded, as if that weren’t one of the saddest things he’d ever heard.

“So you feel the desire for pleasure in that way, but you just try to get rid of it as quickly as possible? Love, you’ve never taken time to see what you like? Tease yourself? Just enjoy how it feels?”

“Why would I want to?"

"What about this morning?" Harry asked. Severus had seemed rather eager to relieve some of the ache to his arousal while he was sucking Harry off.

"That was different."

"How was it different?" Harry asked, genuinely curious. He froze as a thought came to mind. "You weren't doing it just because I asked, were you?"

"No! I wanted to. I was…" Severus flushed as he continued, "extremely aroused. But it's different when I'm with you. I can forget I'm myself and focus on you. And think about you touching me. I---I enjoy it, when you're touching me," he muttered, voice softening to a whisper and face still flushed.

"Thank you for being honest with me, pet. I'm proud of you for that," Harry said, running a soothing hand over Severus' chest. 

Harry contemplated. He didn’t want to tell Severus what to do with his own body. If he didn’t want to touch himself when he felt the desire, he certainly didn’t have to. But Harry thought this might be another symptom of the general aura of self-neglect that had always seemed to cling to him. He didn’t seem to be very concerned with his own pleasure in any aspect, even keeping himself fed and clean and healthy sometimes. Why would he try to find any pleasure in a sexual sense with his body, if he loathed being an inhabitant of it?

“And I enjoy touching you too, pet,” Harry assured him, moving his hand lower down and running a gentle stroke up and down the hard shaft. “Would you try for me, though, now? I’d like to watch you, and I’ll tell you what I like to do.”

Severus nodded, slowly. “If you wish me to, sir. What should I do?”

“Just start with touching,” Harry encouraged, opening Severus legs slightly, and helping him wriggle down a bit so he could lay back more comfortably. “Use your fingertips, trace along the shaft. See how it feels, where there’s hair and where it’s smooth, where the veins are. Pull the foreskin back, just a little, like that. Just touch, slowly and gently, until you start to feel like you really need to speed up.”

Severus didn’t seem to be completely enthralled with the idea, but obeyed nonetheless. Eventually, he did begin to speed his movements, his breath starting to hitch. “Keep going,” Harry murmured into his ear, kissing along the shell and nipping at a lobe. “Just do what feels nice.” When it looked like he was about to fall into the routine of hard and fast, Harry stilled him, pulling his hands back. Severus gave a grunt of disapproval, but Harry just huffed a laugh. “Focus on your bollocks next. I know you like when I pay attention there. Go on, gentle touches at first, just like your cock. See what you like, do what feels nice.”

While Severus shifted his attention and leaned his head back, Harry moved down to some other sensitive spots, rubbing circles around his nipples until they peaked, then pinching and pulling lightly, teasing until Severus moaned, moved his hand back to his cock and started to rub. “You want to come, don’t you, love?”

“Mmm, yes, sir. I do.”

“But you said you wanted to be teased first, so that’s what we’ll do,” Harry declared, pulling Severus’ hands away from his cock as he whined in disappointment. 

“Start again,” Harry ordered. He summoned some lubricant for him to use. “Take yourself to the edge, just like I would do if it was my hand on your cock. Then be good for me and stop. Can you be good?” he asked, stroking down his arms.

“I’ll be good,” Severus muttered, beginning to touch himself once more. Harry whispered encouragement, told him how hot he looked, wanking outside, completely naked. What a pretty picture the whole scene made for Harry. Before long, he tore his hands away, breathing rapidly. “I stopped,” he said, petulantly.

“Very good. Color? Are you okay to keep going?”

“Green!” he said, quickly, and with more enthusiasm than he had probably intended to let on. 

“That’s a yes then,” Harry said with a smile, pinching at his nipples again. “Go ahead, that’s a good boy. I love watching you bring yourself pleasure.” He continued praising him, watching him stroke himself, very proud when he stopped to fondle his bollocks, moved slower, so Harry told him so. When he started bucking his hips, Harry increased the attention on his nipples, curious to see if Severus would let himself get carried away or stop himself. When he did, breathless and squirming and with a rather adorable whine, Harry clasped Severus’ hands in his own, massaging them gently. “So good, such a perfect, obedient pet. Do you want to come now, sweetheart? Are you aching for it?”

“Please. Please, please, I want to,” Severus said, clasping Harry’s hands back in what could conservatively be called a vice grip. 

“Good boy,” Harry said with a kiss. He ground his groin against Severus’ backside. “Can you feel this?” He asked and groaned as Severus pushed back against him. “Can you feel how hard you’ve made me?” His pants had become agonizingly tight during the whole ordeal and Harry felt he was entitled to some release as well. “Help me get these clothes off, pet,” he said, and Severus complied quickly.

All the earlier instructions about "taking your time" had pretty much gone out the window once Harry's clothes were finally off, and snogging and touching and frotting against each other on the blanket didn't take very much time at all to approach their peak. 

"Come, pet," Harry said when Severus squeezed his eyes shut and tensed, not wanting to delay him any longer. "Merlin, I love how you look when you come. Love you," he panted, continuing to kiss him through his climax.

After they'd settled, sated and twisted together on the blanket underneath the banner of bright blue sky, Severus responded softly. "Love you too," he said, eyes closed and face turned away.

Harry didn't _need_ Severus to tell him he loved him every day. He knew it was hard for him to say. But oh, it felt amazing when he did, not least of which because he knew it meant Severus felt safe and loved and relaxed enough to actually voice his emotions. He didn't dare comment on it though, lest he pop the bubble of hazy delight that encased them both.

"We should probably rinse off," Harry said, indicating the mess they'd made all over each other. "Fancy a dip?"

Severus looked at him dubiously, but sat up. "It's probably cold."

"We'll survive," Harry said, and led Severus into the water by the hand. Harry had never actually been skinny dipping before, but the feeling of the chilly water after being in the warm sun made him yelp in delight. After minimal coaxing, Severus joined him, and swam a bit, eventually playing a game whose only rules appeared to be splashing and kissing as much as possible. When they started to get bored of swimming, they hauled themselves out of the water to dry themselves in the sunlight. Harry renewed the sun protection charm on them both, but decided he wanted Severus to rub some of the potion on his back anyway. An instruction Severus seemed happy to comply with. 

"That feels lovely, pet," Harry said with a sigh, relaxing into Severus' touch. "You're so good at that."

"The potion I brewed or the application?"

"Both. Everything, all of you," Harry drawled out, making a contented little noise as the application turned into more of a massage. "Good boy. You're going to make me fall asleep out here."

Severus just huffed a laugh. After a couple more minutes, Harry told Severus he could stop, and it was time to eat lunch. 

"May I put my clothes back on now, sir?"

"Oh, if you insist. You may, but I will miss the view," Harry said, reaching out to touch whatever skin of Severus' he could reach from his position. Severus just rolled his eyes and began getting dressed again. The plait in his hair had completely fallen out so his hair fell forward into his face again, still slightly damp from the water. 

Harry reluctantly put his clothes back on as well, and before Severus could get up to collect the picnic basket, Harry unceremoniously draped himself over his lap, positioning himself face up with his head resting against the cushion of Severus' stomach. 

"Time to eat, I'm starving after all that _exertion_ ," Harry said. "I'll lie here and you can feed me grapes like I'm a Roman emperor."

Severus actually almost laughed at that one, to Harry's enjoyment. "Sir, I can hardly reach the basket with you pinning me down like this," Severus said, this tone coming off much more amused than annoyed. 

"Oh, but you're so clever," Harry said, eyes closed and nestling in closer. He reached up to pat him patronizingly. "I'm certain you can think up a spell to bring it closer to you."

Severus' derisive snort brought a smile to his face, and he heard him summon the basket. 

"Severus is the name of a Roman emperor, you know," Severus said. He held Harry's head still against his stomach so as not to jostle him as he began sorting through the mountain of food they'd brought with them. Harry smiled at the consideration and leaned into the touch. Severus brought out the wine and glasses, then picked out a few other items, including the grapes. 

"Have some water first, pet," Harry said. "And is that so? Well, I guess we'll have to take turns then, so you can live up to your namesake. Don't think there's any palm fronds in this part of Britain though."

"A pity," Severus deadpanned. 

"Hungry," Harry said, opening his eyes and snapping his teeth in a playful biting motion. 

Severus just huffed and started feeding him various bits and pieces of the packed lunch. Harry sat up eventually, but stayed cuddled close, and returned the favor. They chatted amicably, bantering and teasing each other as they polished off their lunch, warm breeze wafting through the trees, and sunshine lighting up the meadow.

\----------------

"So what's next on the docket?" Severus asked as they got back to the house.

"Hmm, I believe I actually have this section marked off as 'downtime'," Harry replied. He gave his hand a squeeze. To his delight, Severus hadn't let go of his hand since they'd left the clearing. "Do you have any requests?"

Severus looked at him strangely. "Do you actually have a schedule planned out?"

"I do," Harry said. "I told you I wanted you to let me take control this weekend. How could I be in charge if I had no idea what we were going to do?"

"Blunder through it with the devil-may-care attitude you've exhibited so frequently in the past?"

"That sounds like insolence, pet. And nope. Not with you, anyway. You deserve extra care and attention." Harry gave his arm a squeeze through his shirt. "Speaking of, do you need the pain salve? We did a lot of moving around."

Severus touched his hand to his throat and winced slightly. "Yes, that's probably a good idea. Shall I go apply it now, sir?"

"No, go and fetch it and meet me in the bedroom. I'll do it for you."

"I can do it myself," Severus replied, frowning.

"That was an order, pet." Harry said, softly but firmly. Severus stared at him a moment longer, then nodded.

After he retrieved the potion and met him in the bedroom, Harry seated him on the edge of the bed and stood to the left side. He unscrewed the vial and poured about a teaspoon of the thick, earthy-smelling cream onto his fingers. "Let me know if I'm doing this right." 

He applied the pain salve how he'd seen Severus do it before, starting with the thicker ridges of scar at the center and working his way out, following along the lines. The flesh of his neck was too delicate for a great deal of pressure, but the Healer at St. Mungo's had said working a light massage along the tough tissue would be beneficial, increasing blood flow and helping with healing. Severus gave a few quiet instructions, but his eyes were closed as Harry continued his massage, working the numbing salve into the scars before finally capping the lid of the potion and spelling clean his hands. 

"Feel better?" Harry asked, smoothing the loose hair away from his neck in order to give the salve a few moments to dry properly. 

Severus' eyes tightened for a moment before he finally opened them. "Yes," he said quietly. "Thank you, sir."

Harry kissed his forehead. "I don't know about you, but I'm knackered. Fancy a kip?"

"Well, if you're going to order me to," Severus said, immediately falling over sideways onto the bed and pulling the pillow to his head. "I suppose I must obey."

"Yes, I am so cruel and demanding," Harry said, laughing. "How can you possibly bear it?" Harry stripped down to his pants and joined Severus on the bed. "You want these off?" Harry's asked, gesturing at the outdoor clothes he was still wearing. "Or your nightshirt?"

"Mmm, off is fine," Severus murmured sleepily, helping Harry remove his shirt and shorts, and snuggled against him under the covers. 

"You were so perfect for me all morning, pet," Harry whispered, holding him comfortably as they waited to drift off to sleep. "My very good boy."

Severus just sighed and smiled in response, and wrapped his arms around Harry tightly, before relaxing his hold and settling against him.

\-------------

Harry sighed contentedly and stretched, waking up from a very pleasant rest. Severus stirred beside him at his motion, but when Harry opened his eyes, he could see that his lover was still asleep. 

He thought about how their weekend together had gone so far. Severus had definitely appeared to have enjoyed himself. He'd been relaxed, surely, but Harry had no way of knowing if his efforts had managed to convince Severus of anything. Or if he even wanted to be convinced.

Depending on how things went the rest of the day and into Sunday, Harry intended for them to have a bit of a debrief conversation over how the weekend went. Maybe by then Harry would have a better sense of how Severus had been feeling lately, and if his efforts to convince him how much Harry loved and cared for him had worked at all. Harry couldn't shake the lingering feeling of unease, and was doubting his efforts at all. 

Should he have just confronted Severus in the first place, instead of going with this weekend plan? Oh, what was he thinking? The surest way to make Severus clam up even further and make him _more_ uncomfortable was to come up to him guns blazing and demand he share his feelings. 

Well, the weekend was half over and from what Harry could tell, they were both enjoying themselves immensely so far. He'd really loved their picnic lunch, and was looking forward to carrying out his idea for that afternoon. Maybe if he just stayed the course, Severus would be happy and relaxed enough to let go to the point where he could be more open with his feelings, tell Harry what was wrong so he could fix it. Or, maybe...he'd finally tell him he just didn't want to stay, wasn't interested in being together any more, so Harry could at least attempt to get through that. As if even the thought of that didn't absolutely break his heart. 

And if that was the case, well…at least Harry would have the memory of this weekend together. 

He curled his arms up around his pillow and simply watched as Severus slept. He thought about how he used to think the man was so ugly. He could scarcely imagine the veil through which he used to see his lover. Or perhaps it was just the contrast to the veil he saw him through now. He was so beautiful to him now. 

It's not as if age had softened Severus' features, he had slight wrinkles around his eyes and mouth, and the deep lines of his brow when he scowled seemed etched into the skin even deeper now than they were when Harry was a student. He had the same hooked nose, the same thin lips and sallow skin and crooked teeth. But he was so much more than what he looked like. And what he looked like had nothing whatsoever to do with his value in Harry's eyes. He was not an attractive man, but Harry loved him, all of him. The bravery, the loyalty, the cleverness. Harry knew him, the worst of him first and then later the best of him. And Harry loved him. So when he looked at him, Severus just looked like love. 

Severus started to stir, and acting on an instinct he could not quite explain, Harry closed his eyes, feigning sleep. Several long moments of stillness passed as Harry fought to control his breath, keeping it deep and even. He felt something, the barest hint of a brush along his hairline and over his cheek. The feeling lingered for a moment and he unconsciously leaned into the touch. It withdrew before he opened his eyes. 

He was certain he had just missed Severus staring at him, and his heart ached with the wonder of what the motivations behind the look and the touch were. 

He pushed himself to smile. "How did you sleep?"

"Well," replied Severus, fixing his gaze on the ceiling. "I'm too old for you, you wore me out."

Harry scoffed at that. "Hardly. And I'm not having that argument with you again. We're wizards, what will our ages matter when I'm 110 and you're 130?" 

Severus made a noncommittal noise in reply, and Harry could sense his unease with the statement. He tried not to feel chilled by it. Was he unhappy thinking about the idea of them together in a century? That's what Harry wanted, in fact Harry wanted _forever and always_ but he held back from saying so usually, for the same reason he had held back from pursuing him romantically for years after he first realized he felt so, and why he held back from asking him to move in several months after they initially got together. 

Harry just couldn't be sure Severus wanted _always_ as much as Harry did.

"Are you really too tired for anything more? We don't have to keep with my schedule, we can do whatever you want. Pop over to the cinema, or you can work on brewing if you want some time alone…?"

"Is there more planned?"

"Yes. A couple of things. But only if you'd like."

Severus studied him. The relaxed air of the man who'd laughed with him swimming, held his hand on the walk home and fell asleep cuddled against him was gone. He had his guard up again for some reason, though Harry didn't think Severus' look was suspicious--he'd know Professor Snape's _suspicious_ face plenty well enough for that--it was more confused. Harry didn't understand how after all this time together Severus still didn't seem to comprehend the idea that Harry had specifically planned for a weekend of helping Severus actually enjoy himself.

"I want to keep going," Severus said when he finally spoke. "Sir," he added as an afterthought, making clear he knew what ‘keep going’ entailed.

"Good boy," Harry said, and kissed him tenderly, relaxing as Severus melted into it. They just snogged in bed for several minutes, Harry encouraging Severus to return his touches with sweet praises and gentle instruction. Harry sighed in pleasure as Severus started getting more into it, kissing along Harry's neck and chest and reaching down to stroke him to hardness. A shift against Severus was enough to let Harry feel that Severus was getting aroused as well. 

The hours of rest had done them wonders, Harry was energized and feeling so, so randy. It looked like they were both up for a shag before they moved on to the next activity. "Well, look what we have here," Harry said, gripping Severus' hard shaft and pumping a couple of times. "Should we do something about this?"

"Ah, if you--if you wish, sir. Please," Severus said, gripping Harry's biceps tightly and twisting his hips, eyes squeezing shut.

"What a nice and respectful response," Harry said, rewarding him with more attention where he wanted it most. "Such a good pet. I think I'd like to ride you. I think I'd love to feel that hard, dripping cock in my tight arse, would you like that, hmm?" Harry whispered, punctuating his words with touches and licks to Severus' sensitive spots. Severus moaned deeply, nodding his head rapidly in response and eyes still closed. 

"Yeah, you want that, pet?" Harry added, teasing him more. "Like to feel me clench around you and fuck myself on your cock while you lie there very still like a good boy? Holding back your orgasm until I tell you that you have permission to come?"

Severus whimpered, and the sound went straight to Harry's cock. Oh, how he loved the sounds he made. Perhaps he could get a few more lovely noises from him soon, Harry thought with a grin. "Answer, pet. Use your words, not just lovely whimpers."

"Yes! Yes, yes, please, sir, I want that."

"Want what, love?" Harry asked sternly, stilling his motions. "I want words besides 'yes, sir'."

Severus whined again at the loss of friction. He flushed a bit in embarrassment and squeezed his eyes tighter. "Want you to ride me, sir."

"Look at me when you answer," Harry said, softly but firmly. Severus did not like vocalizing what he wanted, but Harry wanted to hear it, and knew Severus would find pleasure in obeying. "Try again, pet. A clever boy like you can explain what he wants, isn't that right?"

Severus opened his eyes, meeting his gaze with determination, though more than a little discomfort. "I want you to ride me sir, I want--want to feel you clench around my--my cock," Severus struggled a bit but soldiered on, and Harry stroked over his legs encouraging him to continue. "Want to be a--a good boy and only come when you tell me to." The rest of that came out at supersonic speed but Harry understood him, and understood how difficult it was for him to say.

"Such a very good boy for me. I'm so proud of you, my good, good boy, telling me what you want." Harry kissed up his torso, hands moving to Severus' arms to guide him towards gripping the headboard again. "Hold on here, love, very good." Harry stroked down from wrist to elbow, stopping to cup his face and pulling him into a kiss. "Let's reward you, hmm? Color?"

"Green, sir. Thank you, sir," Severus said resting back to the position he'd been set into. 

Harry moved down Severus' body, stopping to tease his nipples with his teeth and tongue before moving to swallow him down, sucking slowly until Severus' breath turned to heavy pants. He was doing an excellent job staying still, the only evidence he was struggling the way his belly pulled taut when he was preventing himself from moving. Harry pulled off, pressing a kiss to the head. "So good and obedient for me. Eyes on me, pet, I want you to watch me get myself ready for you."

Severus made another lovely noise at that prospect, tilting his head up so he could watch Harry conjure some lubricant and start to finger himself. Harry got rather into it, deciding to put on a bit of a show for Severus, who was exactly how he wanted him, holding on to the headboard, cock hard and neglected and staying still save for some slight trembling. 

They both moaned as Harry finally positioned himself over the head of Severus' cock and began to sink down. He teased him a bit more, pulling up and back down a few times over the head before finally pressing all the way down, taking him in deeply. He began to fuck himself in earnest, delighting in detecting only the barest movement of Severus' hips as he struggled not to buck up. 

"You are so perfect, Severus," Harry said, finally giving in and speeding up. He reached down to stroke himself, he was getting close. "Such a very good boy, love feeling your cock inside me," Harry's words grew more labored as he neared his climax, and stroked himself more rapidly. "Open your eyes, I want to look at you when you're coming. That's right, good boy, go ahead and come whenever you need to," Harry said, and finally pushed himself over the edge, as Severus began to thrust up with unbridled enthusiasm at the permission. Harry delighted in the blissed-out look on his face, so open and sated, and admired the trembling of his legs, the groan that came from deep within his chest, the clenching of his abdomen as he spilled himself into Harry.

Harry slumped forward, and rested his head against Severus’s fluttering heartbeat. Then, he pulled off to grab his wand from the bedside table to spell them clean. 

He sat Severus up to rub the tension from his shoulders, and savored the lingering ache from being fucked. 

"What a very, very good boy for me," Harry whispered as he finished his massage, earning him a shiver. "Are you hungry? Thirsty? I want to do something that might take a little while, so if you need the loo or whatever, go now."

Severus declined food, 'still stuffed from the feast we had for lunch', but took the opportunity to freshen up and have some water. Of course, Harry replied "I was just stuffed!" with a cheeky grin, as he was fundamentally unable to resist the pun. The terrible joke earned him a snort, an eye roll and, happily, a quick kiss from Severus. 

After they were ready to start again, Harry gathered up the needed supplies and directed Severus to lie out on the top of the newly-made bed. "I want you to lie here in the center. Oh, look at you," Harry praised, "you're so beautiful, the way the afternoon sun hits your skin." Severus declined to respond, but positioned himself the way he was asked. Harry sat on the bed beside him, just drinking in the sight. He knew logically that most people would not consider the sight of his lover's naked body _beautiful_ , but it wasn't just false praise to Harry. He really was, not least because he was all _his_. For now, at least, his mind supplied. He shook the thought away. He wanted to focus on overcoming some of Severus' insecurities, not his own. 

"You're already a work of art, love, but I thought I might try to add to it." At his lover's curious expression, he called his attention to a set of paintbrushes and tubes of gold and silver body paint. "I want to paint you. May I?"

Severus looked somewhere between confused and amused, but he agreed. "Yes, sir."

Harry started by trailing the paintbrushes over his body, tickling him a little, but mostly just for the sensation. Severus tried to hold back a smile a few times, but Harry was well versed in which spots on his body would be most effective to tease at with the brush. After a few minutes of getting Severus interested in the feeling, he prepared the paints. "Let me know if anything feels too weird, all right? Green if you're all good, yellow to pause, red to shut it down entirely, remember?"

"Yes, sir," Severus replied mildly. "Green, sir."

Harry started at his feet, placing silver swirls and gold dots along the tops, getting a feel for how well the paint covered. He spelled it dry as he was going so it wouldn't smear, although it was meant to wash off quickly and easily. "I like your feet," Harry said and Severus snorted. "No, I do! They're long and bony, and I like the little patch of hair on the big toes."

"Those aren't...things people typically compliment," Severus said dubiously. 

"Well, you have nice feet and I like them." Harry pressed a quick kiss to the big toe, and Severus nearly kicked him in surprise. "All right, I'll move up," Harry said with a laugh. 

There was a gash of an imprinted scar along Severus' left shin, where he'd encountered Fluffy in Harry's first year. "Did I ever tell you I liked your poem? The one with the potions riddle?" Harry asked as he lined the scar in silver, making gold branches along the edges to outline it. 

"I'd forgotten about that," Severus said after a moment of contemplation. 

"Were you asked to make it into a poem? Or could you have just listed the clues?"

Severus smirked. "I've been informed that I have a flair for the dramatic."

Harry chuckled. "That you do, pet. And I love that about you." Severus stayed quiet. 

Harry had anticipated that the number of scars on Severus' body was going to guide his painting. He thought it might be nice for Severus, to see his scars as something beautiful, painted in glittering metallic colors, and showed special attention by Harry. He hoped Severus would let him photograph them when he was done, and he'd actually got a special camera for the purpose. 

For now, he just continued up, painting swirls on his knees over the remnants of an injury there years ago, which now caused him pain in cold weather. Harry dropped a kiss to each. "The cushion we use is enough so your knees aren't hurting when you kneel for me, right?"

"Yes, sir," Severus replied. "I like kneeling for you, sir," he added softly.

"I know you've had to kneel for others who didn't deserve you. I try so hard to be worthy of you," Harry said, adding circles around the swirl pattern and Severus gave an angry huff.

"You?" he said. "As if I wasn't--you are more than worthy for _me_!" Harry smoothed down the hair on his legs, trying to sooth the reaction. "I'm not--" Severus started, but cut himself off. 

"Hey," Harry said. "Listen to me. I meant it when I said I wanted to focus on you this weekend. And I don't know why you're so intent on bringing up these stupid, old arguments about how much we shouldn't be together. I thought we settled that back when we started dating!"

"I apologize," Severus said. "I don't wish to upset you." 

"It upsets me when you talk like that. Like you don't know why you're with me."

"I shouldn't have said that, Harry," and Severus seemed sincere enough that his anger deflated. "Please, continue?"

Harry nodded, set back to work. Before long, he'd engrossed himself in painting over a particularly nasty curse scar on Severus' upper thigh. "This is from...then, right? When you were--"

"A Death Eater?" Severus responded glumly. "Yes. About a week after I was marked. Right around the time I began to regret what I'd signed up for."

"I forgive you for that, you know," Harry said, dropping a light kiss to his hip, and Severus trembled. "I know I told you before, but it's true. You have me, and friends, and we all care about you. I'm glad you got through that time. It couldn't have been easy."

Severus did not respond. When he looked up. He saw that his eyes were closed. 

"I can't imagine how afraid you must have been, when you left. When you sought out Dumbledore. I'm so proud of you, for that. For everything you did for him. And all of us." Having finished with the scars on Severus' legs, he moved up to his torso. Noting the goosebumps along the bare skin, he cast a wandless warming charm over Severus. He turned his attention to the shiny contracture just below the ribs on the left, swiping a band of gold paint over the widest part. He alternated stripes in gold and silver over the entire burn scar.

"What's this one from?"

"Cauldron exploded," Severus replied. "Nothing too exciting. NEWT-level class accident in my third year of teaching."

"I know you didn't like teaching, but you're one of the most intelligent people I've ever met. I was a right prat to you all through school, but you knew the subject, that's for sure," Harry remarked. "A student's cauldron?"

"Yes," Severus replied. He cleared his throat. "I didn't extend the Protego enough to get all of me, thus, the scar."

"I bet it covered all of the students though, didn't it?"

Severus gave a curious look. "Of course it did."

"Of course," Harry repeated with a smile. "Even when we hated you, we knew you respected your position as a professor, and would protect your students. Your Slytherins loved you."

"As you say, sir," Severus replied, clearly uncomfortable with the statement. 

"I do. And it's true. I can't imagine how you managed to be headmaster that awful year, and keep the students as safe as you could while trying to act the part of loyal Death Eater. You must have been so lonely," Harry said softly, and Severus closed his eyes again, swallowed tightly.

"I couldn't protect everyone," he said quietly, his voice shaking slightly. 

"I know," Harry said, since that's all he really could say. They both had their own ghosts of the people they couldn't save. 

"But you were so brave," Harry continued. He was nearly finished with his torso now, lines and swirls and patterns of gold and silver decorating the scars, making Severus' skin glitter in the fading sunlight. "You're the bravest man I've ever known, and I love you so much," Harry said softly. "Nearly done with the front, pet. Color?"

"Um, green," Severus said, still not quite looking at him. Harry paused to see if anything more was forthcoming, then asked him to turn over so Harry could work on his back. 

Severus' back was littered with thin scars, some remnants from his childhood, some leftover from torture from the Dark Lord, some entirely inconsequential, just small pink scars of unknown origin marring the pale expanse of white flesh.

Harry had touched every one, pressed kisses along each edge the first time he and Severus had made love. He'd suspected then it had affected him greatly, but Severus had removed any evidence besides a slight red to his eyes when they'd been face to face again. Harry wondered if it was going to upset him or help him this time, when Harry traced over his scars. He hoped maybe talking through it would help. 

He focused on painting patterns, long strokes across his back, branching off into geometric designs, dots and starbursts drawn on in between. 

While he worked, he talked.

"I think I fell in love with you while you were still asleep, at St. Mungo's, though I didn't know that was it until later. When you finally woke up, I cried, and I had no idea why at the time," he said with a soft chuckle. "It took me a while to figure out it was because I was so _happy_ you weren't gone. That your story wasn't over."

Harry switched paints, adding a silver shadow to the design he'd been tracing in gold. "Everything about you was so surprising, after that. It was like I was learning a whole new person. And you were never what I expected. You actually let me be your friend, and you saw me for me. Not just my mum and dad. That's what meant the most to me, I think. When you started looking at me and you didn't just see a ghost."

"And you can be so kind," Harry said with a smile, losing himself in the memory. "When you help me with Teddy, and try to get along with Remus and the Weasleys. When you remember how I take my tea, and fix the holes in my jacket, and how you looked at me when you finally agreed to go on our very first date."

Harry and been so caught up in remembering that he didn't notice at first when the back underneath his brush started trembling. By the time he realized, Severus' shoulders were shaking, and he was barely holding back a plaintive whimper.

"Severus? Love, what's wrong?" he asked, stopping immediately, and pulling him up to turn and face him. Severus jerked his head away, but Harry could see the glint of tear-stained cheeks. 

"Hey, hey," Harry said, trying to reach out and soothe him but Severus just crumpled in on himself, shying away from his touch. "Talk to me. What happened?"

"Just--just go, just leave already, I can't take it!"

Harry was bewildered. "I don't understand, are you hurt? I'm not going to leave you alone until you tell me what happened.”

"I mean leave! I--red! Stop it! This is _torment_ , saying things like that. You need to _leave me_ already and get it over with, you imbecile!" Severus shouted, face streaked with tears.

"What? Severus, why would I want to leave you? Here, wait, take a breath." He summoned a blanket and wrapped it around him. Severus clutched it around his shoulders, attempting to steady his breaths. Harry just sat beside him, trying to figure out what had gone wrong. "We'll stop, it's over, you're safe," he said, trying to reassure him.

"Do you really think I want to leave you?" Harry finally asked, his heart breaking at the thought. 

Severus didn't look at him. "Maybe not now, but you should," he said. "You will, eventually, when you overcome this madness and realize how much better you can do than me," he added bitterly. 

Harry was almost in tears at his tone. Merlin, he honestly believed that rubbish, didn't he?

"Have you--have you thought that the entire time we've been together? That it's just a matter of time before I, what? Wise up and leave you?" Harry asked, incredulous. 

Severus sniffled, wiped his eyes, and took a deep breath. "Why wouldn't you?" he finally whispered, gesturing to himself.

"That must feel fucking _horrible_." Harry said, his heart cracking in half. He took Severus' limp hands in his own, clutching tightly. "How do you put up with that? How are you not mad with living in that kind of pain every day?"

Severus didn't respond for a while, finally falling forward and letting Harry wrap his arms around him. Harry held tighter. "I love you, all right? I love you, Severus, and I don't ever want to leave you. Merlin, I've been half out of my mind thinking you've had one foot out the door this entire time."

Severus pulled back, confusion written all over his face. "What?"

"I'm so afraid to lose you, Severus," Harry said, his voice cracking. "I almost did before, and I can't bear it," he said, reaching out to touch the throat injury that had almost been the death of him. "You've been pulling back lately, and I've been grasping at straws trying to figure out why, why you were so unhappy to be with me."

"Unhappy?" Severus replied softly. "Harry, you are the best part of my life, I will stay as long as you'll have me. But why? What do you possibly see that makes you think this is what you want?"

"What am I supposed to say? That I love you because of some specific quality, like you're funny or clever or brave?" Harry asked, holding Severus' face so he would meet his eyes. "You are, but that isn't why I love you. Do you want me to say that I love you because you fit so perfectly into my arms? You don't, you know, the height is awkward and you're bony and my arms get stiff if we stay like that too long, but I love doing it so much that I'd hold you forever if you let me."

Severus squeezed his eyes shut, and Harry wiped away a single tear that had escaped, trailing a path down his cheek.

"I can't say that I Iove your black hair because one day it'll be white and different or gone completely and I'll love it then too," he said, peppering kisses all along his hairline and tangling his hand into the strands. "Or that I love your magic, because what if you decide to give it all up and live Muggle? I'll love you then too," he said, kissing across his face and neck.

"Love isn't something you feel, it's something you do," Harry said firmly. "I love you, as in the verb. As in I love you because I decided I did and I want to choose to every day. I want to love you when the sun is shining on your face and I want to love you when it's pissing down with rain and it makes you look like a drowned rat. I want to love you in the snow and I want to love you under starlight. I want to wake up every day and think up all the new and different ways I can love you and I never want to run out. I love you, Severus Snape, full stop. I don't love you _because_ I don't love you _if_ and I don't love you _when_. I love you without metaphor, without simile, I love you therefore I love you and I will find a way to tell you every day. And I won’t stop convincing you I love you ever, not even after you finally believe it." Harry's speech had got away from him, but when he finally stopped to take a breath, he found Severus looking at him in wonder, like he was the very first thing he ever saw. 

"I've--I've never never felt anything like the way I do with you," Severus said after a long silence, struggling to find the words. "And you--you're like a tidal wave. You can’t--I can't let myself feel all of this because I will never be able to stop. If I let myself, I will love you forever and I've never--" he cut himself off.

"Neither of us are ever going to have to be alone any more, all right?" Harry said. "I've got you. You have me. You have all of me."

"I've never," Severus started with a whisper. "No one has ever--what do I do with it?" Severus asked finally, looking at Harry as if he might have all the answers. 

"Just try to believe me," Harry said finally, and gathered Severus close, just holding him, because he had no more words to say.

\------------

Harry had no idea how long they'd spent clinging together, but the room was lit only by moonlight when they broke apart, both of them still in a bit of a daze. Harry spelled the lights on dim.

"You didn't finish," Severus said, gesturing to the paint. The spell had held up well, it had barely smeared under the blanket. 

"We don't have to," Harry said. 

"No, I want--what were you going to do?"

"Just needed to paint over here, and here" Harry said, indicating the scarring at his throat and remnant of the Dark Mark. "And I was going to ask if I could take photographs, so we could remember it. I bought a special camera, it's like a Polaroid but it's spelled so only the subject and photographer can see the picture."

"Let's finish it," Severus said.

"Are you sure?"

Severus gave a sharp nod. "Yes. Please, I-I want to remember this."

Harry gazed at him a moment. "All right. Come here." He arranged them closely, up against the headboard, and held Severus' left arm in his lap, wrist up. 

He slowly stroked over the remnants of the mark with the paint. He wanted to avoid recreating the serpentine curves of the original mark there, so tried for the opposite, making jagged, sharp lines.

"Are those...lightning bolts?" Severus asked quietly, and Harry froze.

"Oh...oh no, I didn't intend for--I'm sorry," Harry stuttered out, mortified that Severus must think he was trying to mark him, like--

"It's perfect," Severus said, stopping him and turning to press their lips together.

Finished with the arm, Harry started with the scars from Nagini. He didn't want to cover over these, so he just added some thin stripes of glittering paint to highlight the natural lines. 

"All done," Harry said, capping the paint and moving the brushes to the bedside table. "Still all right to take some pictures?"

Severus nodded once. "Yes, please. You should have evidence of your artistry." Harry conjured a mirror to show him, and quietly admired them. "It's beautiful,” Severus said.

"You're beautiful."

Harry summoned the camera, explained the spellwork again and raised the lights. Severus let himself be repositioned, moving languidly while Harry snapped photo after photo.

"Lovely," Harry whispered after taking the final shot, tracing his fingers along the gold starbursts painted over the cluster of scars on Severus' upper back. "You did so well for me. Thank you for letting me finish. Do you want to look at them, see how beautiful you are?"

Severus shook his head slightly, no longer upset, just quiet. Harry didn't press the issue.

"You all right?" Harry asked softly.

"Yes, sir."

"Not sir right now, Severus. Just Harry. Let's get you cleaned up and then some dinner sorted out, all right?" He conjured a glass of juice. "Here, drink something. You need the loo?"

Severus complied almost drowsily, like waking up from a dream. Harry doted on Severus, seeing to his needs with casual affection and a gentle voice. He guided him to the bathtub, filled it with warm water and sweet-smelling suds and helped him in. Before the scene had turned the way it had, he'd intended for them to wash the paint off (and probably more besides) in the shower together. But now he thought they could both do with this instead. 

He helped him into the tub, and before he could fully seat himself on the edge, Severus took his hand and gave him a tug. "You're not joining me?" he asked, more alert but voice scarcely higher than a whisper.

"You're the one with paint all over you."

Severus just nodded to Harry's arms, where a streak of gold and a patch of silver decorated the skin. 

"Please, Harry," Severus said, and Harry could hardly refuse, moving to join him in the overlarge tub. It wasn't quite the level of the Prefect's bathroom at Hogwarts, but Harry prided himself on the luxuriously large tub. Plenty of room for both of them, and a couple more besides, were they so inclined. 

Severus was unusually cuddly, sinking against him almost immediately. Harry pressed a soft kiss to his temple. "Do you want to talk any more tonight? Hmm?"

Severus just shook his head. "Not tonight. Can we just…"

"Of course. Whatever you need," Harry assured him. 

They just sat and soaked for a while, soft touches and whispers of sweet nothings as the water started to take the glittery sheen of the body paint dissolving into the water. After several minutes, Harry repositioned them, using a basin to wet Severus' long hair so he could wash it. 

He used some of the new shampoo, the scent of cedarwood filling the air as he worked a lather into the dark, fine strands of hair. This close, he could see the beginning of a few gray hairs shining against the black. He shampooed Severus' hair, massaging his scalp and the back of his neck in the process, working out the tension at the base of his skull. Severus just sighed in contentment, absentmindedly toying with a patch of hair on Harry's leg. 

After his hair was rinsed through, Harry moved to wipe clean the scars at his neck, taking care to be gentle with the soft flannel. The paint came off easily, Harry wiping down the rest of his body, washing over his arms and torso. About halfway through, Severus turned to initiate a kiss. Harry melted into it, kissing back softly and sweetly at first, lingering at his lover's lips and closing the gap between them again and again until it began to grow heated. Harry stroked a hand down the front of Severus' chest, questioningly. "Do you want me to bring you off in the bath?"

Severus considered for a few moments, then shook his head. "Not tonight. I want to wait until tomorrow for any of that."

"All right, Harry obliged, and continued washing him. He let himself drift away to the side, lifting Severus' leg out of the water, watching the drops run through the dark hair in rivulets. He wiped away the last bit of silver that clung to the scar left by Fluffy a little over a decade ago. He stroked along the ridges of his long feet, pressing a kiss to the jut of bony ankle. 

"You're a strange one," Severus said softly, the hint of a laugh in his tone.

"Are you just now realizing?" Harry asked with a smile. 

Severus just looked at him for a while, an odd expression on his face. He shook his head, finally, seeming to accept whatever he saw in Harry's expression. "You do love me."

"I do," Harry said, moving through the water back towards his head. 

"For what it's worth, I love you too."

"I know," Harry said, stroking a fingertip along Severus' face. "And that's worth _everything_ to me, Severus."

Severus kissed him again in response. "I still don't want to talk tonight. But…" he trailed off, as if deciding what to say, and Harry waited patiently. "I don't understand it. But I am trying to accept it."

Harry just nodded in response. That was a very big step. Before he could decide what to say in response to that, Severus spoke first. 

"Your hair is every which way. Let me wash it," he said matter-of-factly, and reached for the shampoo. Harry just sighed happily, smiled, and let himself be loved. 

\-------------

Harry had initially planned to have Severus prepare them a roast chicken with mashed potatoes and veg for dinner, but the afternoon had got away from them in more ways than one, and they were both too drained for anything like a formal supper together. 

Instead they dragged themselves into the kitchen with a physical closeness they'd never quite had before, Severus constantly reaching out to touch Harry casually, as if to make sure he was still there. 

They hadn't spoken a word since they came down from the bath, but they found they didn't need to. With nothing but looks and touches and the occasional questioning sound, they moved around each other in the kitchen in a practiced dance, sorting out sandwiches, opening bags of crisps and a jar of pickles. They neglected the formal dining room in favor of the breakfast nook in the kitchen, stealing bites off the other's plates, and settling against each other in a casual, comfortable silence. 

Harry was both exhausted and energized at the same time. He didn't want to release his hold on Severus, but the wooden booth at the table they were nestled into was too hard to make for comfortable seating for much longer.

"What do you want to do?" Harry asked finally, shifting in an attempt to find a better position. 

Severus hummed in response. "We can see what's on the telly? Watch a film? Though I might fall asleep before it ends."

"Sounds perfect. I want something sweet. But I don't want to bake anything."

Severus thought for a moment. "Go find something to watch. Molly taught me the spells and recipe for that three-minute fudge you like," he said, gently tousling Harry's wild hair, which he'd made no effort to let dry into something presentable. 

"You're my hero," Harry said with a kiss.

A few short minutes found them both settled on the sofa in the living room, snuggled together under a thick, fluffy blanket, as the weather had turned chilly at night. 

They flipped channels until coming across a nature documentary, and they both watched with half interest whilst Harry snacked on the fudge.

"Do you want to keep playing this weekend, Severus? We don't have to. We can do whatever you like tomorrow."

Severus just cuddled closer. "I want to be your pet tomorrow."

"Are you sure?"

"Very sure, sir," Severus said, winding his arms around Harry. "Now quiet. I want to learn more about the Burmese python."

Harry chuckled. "We could get a pet snake if you like. Show some Slytherin pride?"

Severus scoffed. "I think not. I have no need for an animal in the house that you can conspire with. Now, eat your fudge," Severus said, grabbing a bite for himself. "I slaved away over that."

"Ah," Harry said with a tut, making himself comfortable and letting the scenes on the telly and the narrator's soothing voice pull him in. 

**Sunday**

_I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand & the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow. I wish I had a thousand words for love, but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep & there are no words for that.  
Brian Andreas, Story People_

Before Harry could fully realize he was even _awake_ , he was conscious of the warm, wet, pleasant feeling of what could only be Severus' mouth around his cock. 

Being woken up with a blowjob was an incredibly pleasant start to the morning for Harry, something he'd even been lucky enough to experience a couple of times before, and (unlike the one unfortunate time Harry had attempted to return the favor) Severus need not fear an accidental kick in surprise.

Harry let himself wake up slowly, and let out a deep sigh and shifted, basking in the feeling for a few moments before opening his eyes. He looked down, meeting Severus' gaze, dark eyes already on his, apparently studying his reactions. And enjoying what he saw, if the flush of arousal on his cheeks and the way he sucked Harry's cock in deeper was any indication. 

Harry ran his fingers through his hair before tugging up lightly. "Come here, pet. Your mouth feels amazing, but I want to talk to you."

Severus released him immediately and crawled up higher on the bed, until he was facing Harry and they laid side by side. 

"Good morning," Harry said with a smile and a kiss. 

"Good morning, sir."

"You still want to play and be submissive today? What's your color?"

"Green, sir. Yes, sir, I do." Severus nodded eagerly, seemingly already excited by the prospect.

"We're going to talk more about what happened last night, you know. Expect a pause later so we can discuss it, I'm not letting that sit for too long."

"I understand," Severus said softly. "But now...?" he asked, trailing off with a hopeful tone. 

"For now you just want to be my good boy, hmm? Is that right, pet, you want to be told how to please me?" Harry asked, cupping his lover's face and dropping a kiss to his brow. 

Severus nodded, his eyes falling closed. "Please, sir."

"What a good boy you are, waking me up in such a nice way. Could you not resist, hmm? You wanted to suck me, wanted to hear me moan for you? Tell me."

"Yes, sir," Severus whined. "Please, let me touch you? I like when you tell me how good I make you feel," he said with a soft voice and a slight squirm that made Harry grin. 

"You do love that, don't you, pet? And I love telling you, too. I love how it makes you shiver and flush when I tell you what a good boy you are for me," he whispered to him, stroking down over Severus' arm. He pulled him into a long kiss, rubbing his hand down the fabric of Severus' nightshirt and sliding his hand beneath the waistband of his pants to caress his backside. He kneaded the muscle there while they kissed, stopping only when Severus pulled back from his lips, panting.

"Let me please you," Severus murmured. "I want to make you come."

"If you insist," Harry said with a chuckle, kissing the ridge of a high cheekbone. "What about you, hmm? Should we let you come this morning too? You wanted to wait, and it's 'tomorrow' now."

Severus nodded, then paused. "Not until after you do," he added, to Harry's surprise. 

An idea entered his mind, and he smiled mischievously. "Yeah? You sure, pet? You want to wait to come until after I have today?"

"...Yes, sir," Severus affirmed, but with a slight hesitancy that hadn't been there before. He was clever, he could probably guess what was happening. 

"Well, unfortunately for you, I think I like waiting and being teased even more than you do." This was met with a low groan and a rather adorable attempt at a sneer, less effective by far when one's face was flushed red and they were cuddled in bed with their lover on a lazy Sunday morning. 

Harry chuckled. "Yes, pet, I love how it feels to be teased to the edge and brought back, letting myself feel hard and hot and wanting and just breathing through it." He moved to lie on his back, grabbing Severus by his waist and pulling him over on top of him. "Please me, love. Kiss me, and touch me, and suck me.” he said, punctuating each command with a kiss along Severus’ scarred throat. 

Severus shivered. “I can touch you, sir? However I want?”

“That’s right,” Harry said with a long lick beneath Severus’ ear. “Nice and slow, no trying to cheat and make me come before I tell you to. I think I’d like to spend all morning being pleasured by you, and then wait all day to come. And you’ll be waiting too, won’t you, pet?”

“Yes, sir,” Severus said, drawing out the last syllable with a slight hitch.

“You’re such a good boy, so wonderful at making me feel good. Make me ache for it, pet,” he said, and Severus practically whimpered. 

“Color?” he added at the end, checking in. Not that he needed to, Severus was already nodding rapidly, pupils blown with arousal before he could even get the question out.

“Green!” he finally exclaimed, when he realized Harry was waiting for a response. “How very Slytherin of you, sir,” he added with a twitch that might have been a smile if Severus had let it be. “I’m awed by your cruelty,” he drawled.

“Oh, yeah, you so clearly hate this,” Harry remarked with a snort, lying back. “What are you waiting for, pet? Get on with it.”

Severus didn’t need to be asked twice, moving down, tugging up on Harry’s shirt and pulling down the pyjamas and pants to get to as much skin as possible. Harry directed a little, but mostly just let himself enjoy Severus’ attentions. “Perfect. My perfect, perfect pet, you know just what I like, don’t you? Yes, keep going, right there,” Harry murmured, stroking his hand through Severus’ hair and soaking in the feeling of arousal and pleasure. “Getting close, love, back off now. There’s a good boy.”

Harry let Severus tease him some more, clearly using a few plays from Harry’s book and finding he was enjoying this direction immensely. Not focusing solely on his cock, but moving to lap behind his bollocks, rim his hole, use tongue and teeth and fingernails to mark the skin of his thighs and belly. 

Maybe they could talk about switching roles sometimes for a scene or two. It was a heady thought, imagining being pinned to the bed by Severus, being told to lie back and just obey, let him take control. Harry indulged the fantasy for a bit longer as that talented tongue worked its way over his thighs and up to his bollocks. Oh yes, they’d definitely need to have a conversation about giving that a try. 

At noticing Severus’ rather violent squirm when Harry’s praise turned particularly effusive, he stilled him. “You can rub yourself against the bed if you like, but I want your hands and mouth focused on me. And I know you know better than to try and make yourself come without permission, isn’t that right?”

That was a mistake, since the vigorous bob of Severus’ nod and the hum of the garbled “yes, sir” around his cock pushed Harry closer to the edge than he was intending, he took a deep breath to steady himself. “Close again, pet, move off. Focus over here now, that’s it,” he said, tugging Severus away from his needy cock. “Good boy, so good, I’m positively aching for you,” he said, almost delirious with the joy of watching Severus’ eyes fall closed and his lips part in his reaction to Harry’s words. 

As he calmed down, breathing hard and sweating from the exertion of holding back, he tangled his hand in Severus’ hair again and guided him up to face him. “That’s enough now. You were so good for me. So obedient and lovely and perfect. You’re positively gorgeous right now, that desperate look in your eyes. Look at me, pet,” he said, guiding his chin to meet his gaze. “Can you see how aroused I am, what you’ve done to me? Hmm?” He kissed him again and again as he was speaking. “That’s all because of you, all for you, my gorgeous, talented lover. I love you so much,” he murmured. Severus snuggled in closer, burying his face in Harry’s hair and tangling his hands in it. 

He held him close as their breathing both evened out and the grip of arousal on them both eased. 

“You okay, love? What’s--”

“Green,” Severus said before Harry could even ask, and pulled him tighter. 

\---------------

Eventually, hunger drove them down to the kitchen late in the morning. They stayed in their pyjamas, Harry deciding not to bother with getting dressed properly.

"Sir?" Severus asked on the way out of the bedroom. "Can we have breakfast like yesterday?"

"Of course, pet," Harry replied, kissing him on the cheek and smiling. "Do you mean cook for us? Or kneeling while I feed you?"

"Both," Severus replied, bolder than usual after the events of last night. "I enjoy how it feels. Doing things for you, and being...cared for."

"Good boy, thank you for saying so," Harry said, reaching up to tuck Severus' hair away from his face. "I enjoy it too."

When they came to the kitchen, evidence of their meal last night was all over the room, plates on the countertops, pickle juice left dried on the table, bowls and spoons left to soak in the sink, and the bag of crisps scrunched closed but abandoned on the table.

"We didn't clean up at all last night, did we?" Harry said with a laugh. He had a vague recollection of muttering to Severus to just 'leave it be until tomorrow'. He pulled out his wand to start a few cleaning spells but Severus stopped him. 

"Let me do it, sir?"

Harry crooked his head, questioning. "You don't have to. I made more of the mess than you did."

"Please? I'll make you tea for while you wait."

Harry could see Severus needed some extra structure today. "Good idea, pet. I want to eat in the orangery today. Bring me today's _Prophet_ , the Muggle newspaper, and the tea when it's ready. Have a glass of juice before you do any cleaning, you haven't eaten anything yet today. Clean up the kitchen and start breakfast."

Severus nodded, relaxing into the role easily. "Yes, sir. What would you like to eat today?" 

Harry considered what would be easiest to feed by hand. "Bangers. Pumpkin juice. Hmm, scrambled eggs, do you think? Oh! Do you know how to use the waffle maker? The one I use when Teddy comes over?”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “The one that cooks waffles with letters of the alphabet and numbers imprinted in them? For children?”

“The very same,” Harry said, refusing to acknowledge Severus’ tone. “It’s in the cupboard next to the hob. Instructions are in the box, and there’s a recipe for the batter in the recipe tin. Do you think you can? You don’t have to, you can just do toast or something.”

“I’m sure I can manage to make waffle batter, sir. If that is what you wish.” Severus seemed dubious, but left to begin Harry’s tea. As he turned, he paused. “Will you be requiring whipped cream and hundreds and thousands on top, like Teddy’s birthday?” he asked with a smirk.

“Actually. That’s a brilliant idea. Bring the whipped cream out to the table too, pet,” Harry added nonchalantly, and made his way to the orangery. 

A few minutes after settling himself on the very comfortable plush sofa and observing the view from the large glass walls, Severus arrived with his tea and the newspapers. 

“Thank you, pet,” he said, pressing a quick kiss to the back of Severus’ hand after taking the mug from him, and received a quiet “you’re welcome, sir” in return. 

Part way through a particularly engrossing story about the controversial takes on Shakespeare among rival theater houses in London, Severus brought in the trays of food. Harry had resized the side table to make for an easier space to eat from, and brought Severus’ cushion out to lay on the floor beside his feet. 

He helped him arrange everything on the table and gestured for him to kneel beside him. 

As promised, the small squares of waffles were piled with whipped cream and hundreds and thousands, enough that Harry couldn't actually tell what letters he'd chosen.

"Did you spell anything out, pet?" Harry asked, curious, as he started cutting up the sausages into bites. 

Severus looked a bit embarrassed, but finally answered. "Our initials," he muttered. "A fit of sentimentality."

Harry leaned down to press a kiss to the crown of his head. "You're adorable. Now let's dig in, I'm starving."

Breakfast today went much the same way it had the day before, the food and Severus praised continually, with Harry alternating bites between them of the meat, eggs, and waffles. Towards the end, Severus seemed to catch on that Harry was deliberately missing his mouth by a hair so he'd be forced to wipe away whipped cream from the corner of his lips. Wiping which required far more lingering touching than was strictly necessary.

Of course, he returned the clear attempt to tease with plenty of sexy sounding licks and sucks of his own and Harry had to chuckle at the joy of the easy intimacy. 

Eventually they came to the end of the meal, Harry abandoning the last couple of bites on the plate in order to haul him up and snog him like his life depended on it. He pulled him up with him on the sofa, lay him back and covered his body with his own. The heel of Severus' foot came up to rub against the back of Harry's leg, and he threaded his fingers through Severus' hair. Both of them pulled each other closer, deepening the kiss and Harry rucked up Severus' nightshirt. "Can I take this off?"

"Green! Wait, I mean yes. Or whatever you were asking," Severus panted and Harry couldn't hold back a laugh. "Affirmative."

"Ha, you've got it, captain." Harry helped him pull it off and flung it to the side. He moved his hands to touch all over the now-exposed skin of his chest. "Were you wondering why I wanted the whipped cream at the table, pet?"

"I had a suspicion," Severus said, doing a very poor job of attempting not to look eager. 

Harry straddled Severus' upper legs. He grabbed the bowl of whipped cream from the table, which had been sitting under a chilling charm so it wouldn't melt. He paused before grabbing the spoon. "You liked the ice a lot the other night, didn't you?" he asked, and Severus made a very cute squeaking sound. He strengthened the charm, not enough to completely freeze, but enough to be very pleasantly cold. "Color?"

"Green," Severus responded with a sigh, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back.

Harry scooped a bit out of the bowl and placed it just below the hollow at the base of his throat, dragging the cold metal of the spoon down over his chest and pressing it suddenly against his right nipple. This was answered with a shriek, and Harry toyed with the pebbled nub for a moment with his fingers before leaning down to soothe away the chill with his tongue. He then kissed up to where the whipped cream was starting to melt over his chest, lapping it up eagerly and sucking a red mark into the skin there.

He repeated the process, chilling the spoon again when it started to warm up, licking and kissing along the flesh of his stomach and chest and paying extra attention to his nipples, until Severus was moaning and breathing raggedly. Harry could feel the hard press of an erection beneath him, which he tormented by rubbing himself against it firmly before pulling back. "Patience, pet. Up you go, time to see to the dishes." Severus groaned, bucking up until he caught Harry's disapproving look and stilled.

"Yes, sir," he responded, getting up and shifting himself awkwardly. 

"No touching, remember you said you wanted to wait for me, and I find I can last a while longer yet," Harry said with a smirk. "Come back here when you're done." Severus sighed in annoyance but gathered up the dishes.

"That's right, deep breaths, there's a good boy," Harry remarked mildly. He gave Severus' bottom a squeeze and a light pinch as he walked by. 

When Severus returned, Harry was sprawled out on the sofa, his head resting comfortably against the plush armrest, with a book in his hand. He'd been meaning to start on that detective novel Hermione had recommended. He kept the table at a comfortable height, moved it over further and opened the paper to the crossword. 

"Would you bring the record player or the radio in here, pet? Put on something nice to listen to. I want to read a bit whilst you do the Sunday puzzles."

"Yes, sir," Severus said, a bit surprised. A few minutes later, the opening notes to an E.L.O. album started up and Harry looked up from his book. "I love this one!" he exclaimed.

Severus just looked at him. "Yes, I know, sir," he replied. "Obviously." 

Harry snorted, lifted his legs and made room for Severus to slide under, sitting up with Harry's feet in his lap. 

They sat on the sofa together, Harry reading and humming along to the songs and Severus scratching at the crossword. Eventually, nearing the end of the puzzle and deep in thought, Severus moved one hand to absentmindedly rub at Harry's feet. 

"Ah, you may continue," Harry said with a sigh, pushing his foot against Severus' hand. Severus chuckled slightly, moved to caress and rub at Harry's feet with both hands. 

"You don't have to abandon the puzzle," Harry said, resting the open book on his chest and stretching out, putting his hands behind his head and observing Severus. "You have two hands. Keep writing with your left and massage with your right."

"Hmm, all right," he said absentmindedly. "I'm nearly done, sir. How's your book?"

"It's good. I like the detective character, though his partner is a bit annoying. I think I've guessed the ending already, but there might be a twist at the last minute. Seems like that type of novel."

They kept chatting amicably about other books Harry was planning to read, or rather being told by Hermione he should read. Severus rubbed at his feet, shared some of the crossword questions, and Harry sang along to the record. 

"Oh, you'll know this one. _Rival turned wingman to 'Iceman'_ , six letters."

"Huh? Oh, that's Maverick!" Harry said, lighting up that he knew an answer. "Wait, no, you said six letters? Ah, Cruise!"

Severus penned the answer in neatly. "Perfect. Confirming that 46 across is indeed San Cristobal. Excellent," he remarked with a smile, and Harry loved it. 

"We should watch that again," Harry said. "Top Gun. Oh, or--" 

"Or one of the other dozen Tom Cruise films you own?"

"Severus, if I owned a pub in the Caribbean, what do you suppose I'd call it?" Harry asked, with a teasing tone.

Severus just smirked. "Cocktails and Dreams?" he replied, answering correctly and indicating the film Harry was referring to. 

"That's right," Harry said with a laugh. "Keep pretending you don't also love him. And Elisabeth Shue, too."

"Do you want to watch the film today?" Severus asked. Harry noted he'd dropped the formal address, and decided not to correct him.

"Maybe later." Severus was happy, laughed along with him, and added in the last few lines to the crossword puzzle. As if on cue, the record reached the end, and Harry used his wand to stop it. 

Severus seemed to be in a good frame of mind and they'd both slipped out of their dominant and submissive roles naturally, so Harry decided it was time to take that pause. 

"I think we should talk now, Severus," he said, pulling his feet from the other man's lap but staying seated close to him. 

Severus seemed apprehensive, though not unhappy about the prospect, which Harry was glad for. He simply nodded.

"How are you feeling, after what you told me last night?"

"Overwhelmed," Severus said after thinking for a moment. "A little...raw, I suppose. But better than I expected."

"You were very vulnerable, sharing that with me. It hurts, to know you've been feeling so low."

Severus nodded, gripping the table tightly, but powering through the discomfort, and Harry was so proud of him.

"Did you really mean it? All the things you said?" he asked quietly.

"Every single word," Harry said. "Was it hard to hear all of that?"

"It was," Severus muttered. He wasn't looking at him, but quit attempting to dig his nails into the table in favor of reaching for Harry's hand instead. He took it gratefully and held Severus' hand between both of his, stroking with his thumbs.

"I told you back when we first got together that I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I know you, know your temper and your biting tongue. But I meant what I said about wanting to make it work, to make this last. And I'm all in if you are."

"I'm all in, Harry," Severus said with certainty. "This--speaking like this does not come...naturally to me. But I want to try. I want...I want this to last, too."

They continued their conversation for a while, knowing they were never going to sort out every potential problem in their relationship in a single afternoon, but Harry's heart swelled with the promise of it. He looked forward to learning more, and changing, and growing together.

Their discussion continued with what they had enjoyed most about their activities together in the past couple of days, where they had found the most enjoyment in the dominant and submissive roles and why.

Severus was surprised but, to Harry's joy, quite intrigued at the prospect of turning the tables sometimes in the future, exploring the dynamic the other way ‘round and seeing if Harry enjoyed submission as much as he thought he might.

Severus' desire to see Harry's schedule was finally sated, and they looked over the parchment together, transcribing a few notes beneath with their reactions. 

They went over the list of half-formed ideas Harry had jotted off to the side, things they might want to try eventually, or that Severus could veto as uninterested in entirely if he wished, and they talked about what final scene they might like to try to end the weekend off with. 

"What's shibari?" Severus asked, cocking his head to the side.

"That's not actually one we can do today formally, if anything we'd have to research and maybe practice a bit. It's the thing with the ropes and knots and designs? I have a book about it we'd need to read. There're ones we can do without restraining your arms. Or if you don't like the idea of it on you at all, you can try it on me, I think it'd be fun."

Severus nodded, then wrote something next to it, making some kind of note. Harry would be interested to read over his commentary on the list later. 

"Roleplay ideas?" Severus read with inflection, raising his brow. 

"Yeah!" Harry said. "There's loads of different scenarios in the book we got when we started learning about this stuff. I jotted down a few I liked the thought of."

"Auror and prisoner?" Severus read off. "I don't know about that. Vampire?" He looked like he was going to veto that one and then paused. "Maybe," he muttered, scratching another note in the margins. "But no actual blood, please."

Harry shuddered. "Yeah, fine by me. What about…" he trailed off, pointing to the next on the list that he'd made a little star next to.

"Student and professor?" Severus contemplated for a moment. "While I do see the appeal, Harry, I don't think we should attempt to re-enact our tumultuous--"

"Oh, no," Harry said, interrupting him. "I was actually thinking I would be the professor, and _you_ would be the naughty student in detention."

"Oh," Severus said. And judging by the tight swallow and look of interest, Harry reckoned he had a pretty good idea of the direction the evening was going to take them. 

\------------

Harry had done a rather admirable job of turning the study on the second floor into what could pass for the office of a Hogwarts professor. He had a large mahogany desk towards the back window, with the curtains transfigured red and gold. He was the Head of Gryffindor house in this little scenario, he decided, having fun with indulging himself with how he'd decorate his office. The walls were lined with bookshelves, there was a blackboard off to the side, and there was a chair positioned in front of his desk, where he'd seat his wayward student.

Quills, parchment and ink stood on the desk, and he busied himself with adding more teacherly paraphernalia. Harry glanced at the clock; Severus should be here soon. He adjusted his teaching robes, relishing in the extra level of drama they gave his figure when he looked at himself in a conjured mirror. Satisfied with his preparations, he banished the mirror, sat himself at the desk and began doodling on a sheet of parchment with a quill, hopefully giving the effect that he was hard at work grading papers. 

"Enter," he called out when he finally heard the sound of a knock on the door. 

"Mr. Snape," he said, taking in the sight of his lover in a Hogwarts student uniform. Severus had gone over the top to look the part, his robes were trimmed in Slytherin green and he had even added a green and silver tie. Harry smiled at the sight, Severus seemed to be in character, hunched a bit with the glum put-upon scowl on his face he'd remembered seeing in Pensieve memories. He shook away the thought of the memories, now was a much happier time than all of that. 

"You're on time. I'm pleased about that, at least. Have a seat." 

They'd outlined the broad strokes of their scenario before they started, so Harry knew the nervous fidgeting Severus was doing was part of the game. 

"I'm-I'm not certain what I did to get a detention, Professor. My marks in Defence have been very high--"

"You're very clever, Mr. Snape, top marks. This isn't about your grades. But I've been noticing a problem lately." Harry put on his best look of stern disapproval. "You've been very distracted all through class, not catching spells in time when I set you to duel with a partner, stammering and looking surprised whenever I call on you to answer, even though I know you know the material. Can you tell me why that is, Mr. Snape?"

"I'm not distracted!"

"Are you saying I'm a liar, Mr. Snape?"

Severus gulped. "No, sir."

Harry was mildly impressed at this level of acting, and reminded himself that Severus was a convincing spy for many years.

"You have detention tonight to help you learn to focus better. And every night this week, if I don't think you've learned your lesson properly," Harry said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No, sir! I can't be in detention all week, I have to--"

"No talking back or I'll have you scrubbing cauldrons instead," Harry interrupted. 

"Scrubbing cauldrons for my Defence detention, Professor?" Severus said with a very cheeky voice.

Harry rolled his eyes at the slip up. "Yes. I'll send you over to the Potions professor, he can be quite the nasty git when he wants to be."

Severus tried to hide a smirk, then took on the air of nervousness again. "How are you going to teach me to focus, Professor?"

"Stand up," Harry said, and he did so. He let Severus stew for a moment while he walked around the bookshelves, selecting a poetry book. He opened it up to the page he'd marked earlier, checking the bookmark was right, closed it, and handed the book to Severus. "You'll read the words aloud, nice and clear. No getting distracted by what you're saying. Every time you stumble over words or look like you're being affected, you'll be punished. Do you understand?"

"Yes. Yes, sir," Severus said meekly, though Harry could see he was confused by the prospect. He hoped Severus didn't know the poem--it would be much more fun if he was surprised, though he imagined he'd play along admirably no matter what.

"The Platonic Blow," Severus started when Harry indicated he should begin, leaning back and resting his hands against the edge of the desk. The moment he realized what he was reading was obvious, as his voice hitched over _"I watched the crotch over which the cloth intriguingly bulged"_ and he gasped slightly. 

"That's one, Mr. Snape. For every mistake you will remove an article of clothing."

"But, sir!" Severus exclaimed, scandalized. 

"Now, Mr. Snape. You can start with a shoe. Let's hope you can focus properly now. Continue."

Of course, just as Harry intended, each line of the very smutty poem left him more aroused, which led to more mistakes, which led to losing more clothes, which in turn made Severus even more aroused and likely to make mistakes. 

Severus continued, face flushed with arousal as he tried to keep his voice level. Or maybe not trying very hard at all, as Harry could see by the very obvious bulge at Severus' crotch that he was enjoying his punishment very much.

"You have such a lovely voice, Severus," Harry said, voice low with arousal. "Deep and almost raspy, very well suited to the subject matter, don't you think?"

The whimper led to the loss of Severus' trousers, and he stood before Harry down to only his vest and pants. 

Harry made a tsk of disapproval, gesturing to the erection tenting his pants. "What's this? What's got you so bothered, hmm? Has the story got you randy?"

"Yes, yes, sir. And you, Professor," Severus blurted out. 

"Me?" Harry responded with a raised eyebrow. He reached out to tuck Severus' hair behind his ear, taking care to linger and trace his fingertip along the side of his face. "Have I been the one distracting you in class, Mr. Snape?"

"Yes, yes sir," Severus said with a blush, looking down in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Professor."

"Well, we can't have that, can we?" Harry said. "You'll write lines. It's obvious the reading practice isn't going to be effective. I think I have another lesson that might help," he said, grinning wickedly.

He led Severus to the desk, standing, with a parchment, quill, and ink before him. He had to crouch down, his arse in the air. Harry smoothed his hands down the fabric over his back, and over the pants to cup his arse, squeezing gently. "Are you going to be good?"

"Y-yes, sir," Severus said with a stutter. "What, what shall I write, Professor?"

"Why don't you write, 'I will not ogle my professor during class' right at the top?" Harry did not remove his hands from Severus while he wrote shakily, but neatly enough. "Good boy," he praised when he finished. "Now, fill up the page."

When he started again, Harry slowly peeled down his pants, pushing them down to pool at his ankles. "I'm going to help you learn to focus. You keep writing, and don't let yourself be distracted by what I do, hmm?"

Harry moved very slowly, giving Severus ample time to stop him if he wished. It appeared that he did not wish though, as he squirmed a bit, breathing heavily but continuing to write his lines.

Harry moved to his knees, positioning his mouth level to Severus' crease and gently encouraged Severus to spread his legs wider. Severus whimpered as Harry pressed his lips to the flesh of his arse cheek, slowly kissing his way to the center, and nipping lightly at the soft mound.

Harry knew he wasn't being very sporting at all, because if there was one thing Severus could absolutely not be expected to lie still during, it was being rimmed. 

Harry had got very, very good at it lately and after casting a quick cleaning spell, began to tease him with his tongue. 

The first lick was enough to make Severus drop to his elbows, muttering a curse when Harry darted his tongue into the tight hole.

"Don't you dare stop writing, Mr. Snape," Harry said mildly, before continuing his assault. He kept it up for several minutes, licking and sucking with enthusiasm, ignoring Severus' whines and moans and the very hasty scratch of quill and parchment. 

"Please...please, sir, if you keep doing that I'm--ah ah, ohhhh, I'm going to come!" Severus managed to bite out, panting.

"You will not," Harry said, finally having mercy and pulling away. "Only very naughty boys come all over their teacher's desks, and you're a good boy, aren't you?" he asked, making soothing circles along his back until he calmed down, trembling and promising that yes, yes, he was a good boy.

"Let's see what you have," Harry said, checking the parchment. He was actually surprised how legible it was, though the letter sizes varied widely and the lines themselves were more serpentine than straight. 

"Only halfway and I had to stop! Whatever shall we do with you, Mr. Snape?"

"Please, please, let me--"

"I know you're not asking me to let you come," Harry interrupted with a sharp tone. "Someone wanted to wait, if you'll recall. And I haven't had anything yet."

Severus jerked his head up, pupils blown and face red. "Let me! Let me focus on you, sir! Let me make you come," he pleaded. 

"And how might you do that, hmm?" Harry asked. He had removed his teaching robe already and began to unbutton his trousers, giving Severus an idea of what he should be asking for.

"Let me suck you, Professor!" Severus said, catching on quickly.

Harry pulled him around, then stopped. "Oh wait, hold on, pause. We don't have your cushion." He didn't want Severus kneeling on the hard floor, it'd be rather rough on his knees and he was not seventeen any more, despite what they were pretending. He cast about for a solution. "Oh, sit here," he said, bringing Severus round to his chair, and seating himself on the edge of the desk. "Is this comfortable?" Severus just looked at him in amusement.

" _Yes_ , sir, yes, go ahead, green, whatever the word is where we continue!" Severus said with exasperation. 

At Harry's nod, Severus continued talking. "Let me prove I can focus on you, Professor. Please?"

"What do you know about sucking cock, hmm, Mr. Snape? Something you do often?"

Severus shook his head. "No, sir! But I'm-I'm a very fast learner, sir." 

Harry chuckled, started shedding his clothes. He pulled the vest off Severus, so they were both fully naked, stroking all over the exposed skin. "I believe you are. How about this, if you're very, very good with your mouth and fingers, you can fuck me over the desk. You think you can be a good enough boy for me to earn that?"

Severus stifled a moan at the idea. "Yes, yes, sir, please let me!"

Harry retrieved lubricant from his trouser pocket and placed it on the desk.

"Go on," Harry said, "oh, very, very good." Harry leaned back, relishing in the sensation of his lover's very talented tongue. He was more than ready to come after the denial all day but let Severus suffer for just a little while longer. By the time Harry was just to the edge and Severus was in him three fingers deep, he tangled his hands in Severus' hair and pulled him off gently.

"Such a very good boy, Severus. You've made me feel so amazing, and all your focus was on me," Harry said stroking his hair. "You're so very clever with that mouth."

"Did I learn my lesson, Professor?" Severus asked, squirming in his seat. "Did I do a good job?"

Harry chuckled. "A very good job. You could have an illustrious career in sucking cock if you wanted one, but I think I'm going to keep you just for me," Harry said, his voice lowering to a whisper as Severus leaned his head against Harry's thigh, a slight smile on his face. 

"You want to keep me?" Severus said softly.

"Forever," Harry promised, and pulled him up from the chair. "Now, you've learned your lesson, so I think you've earned a reward, don't you? You ready to fuck me?"

"Oh, yes, yes please, Professor," Severus said, and his face was so open and desperate Harry couldn't help but kiss him. Harry moved him closer, pulling him in the proper position with his legs and tugging his face down so he could continue kissing him, breaking it only to mutter praises and tell Severus how much he wanted him, how good he felt. 

"Ah, yes, fuck, right there," Harry said when Severus thrust hard against his prostrate, encouraging his motions by bucking back against him. "It won't take long, pet, don't worry," Harry panted. "You've been so good waiting for me, you must be close, hmm?"

"Yes, yes, please," Severus whispered. "I'm so--so close, sir, please, please let me--"

"Touch me," Harry ordered, moving Severus' hand to his leaking cock, "make me come, that's a good boy, ah, oh. So so good. Beg a little more, sweet boy, tell me what you want."

Severus groaned against him, thrusting wildly and matching the pace with his hand. "I want you, I want to make you come, ah--oh, sir, please please I need to come."

Severus' begging pushed Harry over the edge, and he came hard. All day waiting really had made it better, oh they were definitely going to need to do this again. He still had enough presence of mind to grant Severus permission to come, blissed out and boneless though he was, and Severus followed in a few quick thrusts with what sounded like a _sob_. He collapsed against Harry, panting heavily and clutching at him for several minutes. as they both just breathed and held each other close.

As they came down from their high, Harry spelled them both clean and guided Severus back down to the chair, Harry seated fully on the edge of the desk with his legs on either side. He pulled Severus in, kissing over his face until he captured his lips.

"Well, how was that, pet?" Harry asked when the kiss broke. "Did you enjoy yourself?" 

"I think it should be very obvious that I did," Severus said, wrapping his arms around Harry's waist and settling his head against his chest. They stayed in that position for a while, cuddled together and talking softly, until Severus pulled Harry down into his lap to hold him tighter. 

"I'm hungry," Harry finally said. "What do you want to do about dinner?"

"Did you have that planned on your schedule? I can make the roast chicken for us, like you intended I do yesterday."

"Why don't I take you out? If you're up for it. I'm thinking that Muggle Indian place we like in London? But I'm open to suggestions."

"I'm surprised you didn't plan to go to some posh restaurant in Paris or Rome, with the way you've spoiled me so much this weekend," Severus said softly. 

"I'll take you anywhere you want. Call in sick at work this week and I'll take you to Paris tonight," Harry said. 

Severus laughed. "The Muggle restaurant is fine." He paused. "You really would, though, wouldn't you?"

"Yes. I love you and you deserve it. If you wanted to go to the moon on holiday I'd sort that out too."

"I think I believe you," Severus said, smiling softly, and it almost made Harry happier to hear that than the 'I love you' that followed a moment later.

"As for posh restaurants on the continent…" Harry considered whether he should say what he was thinking. Why not, he finally decided. He was done with holding back. "I figure I'll take you to one of those when I propose to you."

He waited with bated breath. An eternity later, Severus surprised him. "Let me do it," he said finally, looking determined. 

"What?" That was not the response he'd been expecting to hear. 

"Propose. I'm not…it won't be this week, or anything, and we need to discuss things more, and I need to--"

He meant to continue rambling on, but Harry stopped him. "That's all right," he said softly. He realized how much better it would be that way. He was ready now, but letting Severus be the one to ask would mean that when he did, he'd believe what Harry already knew--that they were meant to be. And getting there would be worth the work it took. "I'll wait as long as you need. When you're ready, ask me."

"I will," Severus murmured, raising Harry's hand to press his lips to the finger that would one day wear a ring. 

"When you do," Harry said, unable to keep the grin off his face, "my answer will be yes."

"I'm counting on it," Severus said, pulling him into a long kiss, and Harry believed and believed and believed him.

**Author's Note:**

> This work is part of the 2020 Harry Potter Cross Gen Fest. The author will be revealed at the end of August.


End file.
